A Quick Introduction To Pastafarianism

For the first installment of my new column, World Issues From The Viewpoint Of A Devout Pastafarian, I thought it would be fitting to first explain Pastafarian beliefs so as to prevent confusion in future articles.

Pastafarianism is primarily the belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster as the one true god. Like many other religions, we believe in a Heaven and a Hell. In Heaven, there is a beer volcano and a stripper factory. In Hell, the beer volcano containes naught but stale beer and the strippers have STDs.

We believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe with His Noodly Appendage. Bobby Henderson, the Pastafarian who made FSMism widely known, once wrote a letter to the Kansas School Board that explains our beliefs and how the Flying Spaghetti Monster works with wonderful clarity. To read his letter and more information about our beloved deity, please go to www.venganza.org.

As Pastafarians, we are only allowed to teach of His Noodliness in full pirate regalia. The best explanation comes again from Bobby Henderson's letter.

"Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t."

I know my beliefs may vary from yours, but Pastafarianism is a religion of tolerance and love, so please refrain from angering His Noodliness by leaving nasty comments containing religious intolerance. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me via comments on my page or messages.

In conclusion, peace, love, and noodles.

RAmen.