How to Determine if Your Best Friend Is an Alien

I find that there are many times I have no idea what is going on in my best friend’s head. She stares off into space, eats bizarre food, and has one weird thought too many. If your best friend has any of these strange behaviors, you might be dealing with an alien.

Strange Diet

Aliens have digestive systems that differ from humans, so they cannot eat many of the foods that we can. That horrible peanut allergy your best friend is dealing with might really be an alien digestion problem. Aliens also have different taste buds, so they like foods that most people don’t. If your best friend likes to snack on pistachio ice cream, banana flavored laffy taffy, or pumpkin bread, you might have an alien on your hands.

Inappropriate Laughter

Aliens don’t understand humans’ sense of humor, so they often laugh at the wrong time or their laughter sounds forced. If your best friend thinks Everybody Loves Raymond is funny or laughs at jokes about dead babies, you might be watching Seinfeld reruns with an alien.

Odd clothing

Aliens have no comprehension of human fashion. They often wear outfits that are out of style or clothes that are mismatched. If your best friend pairs a polka dot scarf with a plaid sweater or likes to wear ponchos, you might be shopping with an alien.

Technology Obsession

Aliens have a strange fascination with human technology because it is inferior to their own. They have miraculously found ways to manipulate our technology so they can make contact with their home planet. So, if your best friend is constantly using a cellphone, they might be contacting their BFF from another galaxy.

If your best friend has any of these strange behaviors, you might be cohersing with a being from another planet. It is best to seek professional help before you find a cow skeleton in your closet.