Seeing Society Through Socially Anxious Eyes

Anxiety is an uneasiness of the mind caused by fear. The most misunderstood form of anxiety is social anxiety and it is the third largest psychological disorder in the United States.

So how do we understand this mysterious mental health issue? How do we help those who suffer every day from social anxiety? The first step is trying to understand what these people go through.

A common mistake is thinking that people with social anxiety simply dislike being around other people and speaking with them. This is completely false. People with social anxiety want to be around others; they want to fit in with the rest of society. They try so hard to be what they define as "normal" and they try to be social and happy.

The reason that people with social anxiety seem as though they don't want to be a part of society is because they're afraid of judgement. When they are around others, they have elevated worries nagging them that people are judging them, talking about them, or laughing at them. This leads to feelings of humiliation, inadequacy, and (at times) depression. They feel as though they don't belong and they are alone.

People with social anxiety are considered "shy" and "socially awkward." Many times, they're responses to people are misinterpreted as rude. The socially anxious will often get nervous in one-on-one conversations, speaking with groups or teams, and during public speaking. They will be afraid of their responses to discussions being judged as "wrong" and will often not contribute because of this. If they do speak up, later on they tend to replay the moment in their minds, analyzing how they had messed up.

People with social anxiety also get embarrassed very easily. If they are forced to speak in front of many people - such as answering a question in class - and get the answer wrong, they will begin to blush or sweat and will be very uncomfortable.

The most irritating aspect of social anxiety is the mental attributes. A socially anxious person knows that they are being irrational. People are not judging or laughing at them. No one cares that they messed up an answer. They know this, and they tell themselves this, but they cannot control the onslaught of fear, anxiety, and depression that continues to tell them that they are wrong.

A common description of the mind of a socially anxious person is that they are "trapped inside their own mind." They can't control their anxious thoughts and their fear of being judged, even though they want to control it. Much of the time, they'll catch themselves wondering if people are looking at them or talking about them and they won't be able to stop it. They know no one in the room is watching them, but they feel as if every eye is trained on them.

How do you escape this jail that becomes your mind?

Cognitive behavioral therapy (or CBT) is proven to help many anxiety disorders including social anxiety. Seeing a therapist or counselor is a common method of overcoming this anxiety. It isn't entirely curable, but it is controllable. After a time in individual therapy, it is recommended (when the patient feels ready) to attend group therapy sessions to become comfortable with sharing thoughts and discomforts with others and become acquainted with speaking in front of groups.

Although people suffering from social anxiety will have to live with it their whole lives, there are ways to teach yourself to control it. There is hope for all of the socially anxious so that they will never again feel trapped inside their minds.