How to Fall Asleep in Class

Everyone has had nights when he did not catch enough Z’s or is simply too exhausted from numerous activities and events. During the following school day, the body begins to feel the true impact of this fatigue, and the student feels the need to fall asleep during those few moments when his teachers are at their most banal. The student’s eyes begin to droop. He starts to nod off and the weight of his colossal head becomes overwhelming. It is at these moments that one should take certain precautions in falling asleep.

Falling asleep in the classroom is fantastic, but missing important information is not. Be sure to sleep only when something completely insignificant is occurring in the classroom, such as those few moments that the teacher allows for the opportunity to work during the class on homework; even teachers forget that homework assignments are meant to be done at home. A great time to sleep is when the class has to sit through another three and a half hour long movie about Mayan culture that does not relate to real life, excepting the test the following week. No one really needs to learn about Mayan culture, but school has to take up at least nine months of the year somehow.

Another prime opportunity to fall asleep is when the class is focusing on a slideshow that the teacher has made. Yes, those long dreary hours of listening to the teacher drone on and on really do come in handy for something. The student should be sure there is someone else taking notes. This is closely associated with the first issue, but it includes the participation from a well-rested individual. This individual should be a close friend rather than an unknown person, who could be apathetic to the condition of the sleeper. There is such a thing as a few good Samaritans that will help a sleep-deprived student, but such an occurrence is rare and should not be depended on.

The final issue to address is learning to place the body in a comfortable but not an exuberant position. Examples of a vivacious manner of sleeping are, but are not limited to: moving the head completely back to stare up at the ceiling, placing the head on a flat surface and allowing the oral passage to open while creating rivers of saliva, using the arms as pillows, and finally, the neck joint at a ninety degree angle with the head suspended awkwardly. There is also the infamous “head bobble.” This movement is perhaps one of the most obvious manners of sleeping. It is the sleeper nodding his head with droopy eyes and suddenly awaking as they feel the sensation of falling. Certain people even have the habit of snoring in class, which causes major issues in both the art of slumber as well as common courtesy.

While slumbering in a subtle manner, it is necessary to cover the eye that is closest to the teacher. An example of this method is if the teacher is on the left side, cover the left eye with the left hand and lean upon the forearm. This will give the impression that the arm is simply blocking the eye as a support for the head in boredom, but truly the right eye is also closed; soon the sleeper is revisited by thoughts of that pretty girl that sits in the back row of fifth period Chemistry.

These tips can help avoid tough situations, but they will not always be valid choices that will allow for undetected naps. As teachers begin to grow more adept at busting chops, so, too, should students become more artistic. The final thing to learn is that sleeping in class is a unique craft that must evolve. Try new methods of sleeping or perhaps different times to sleep, and if that works, keep doing it until the teacher grows aware; then do something else. By following these guidelines and building more methods, it is possible to become the best sleeper the world has ever seen, or more appropriately, not seen.