The Double-Sided Coin of Weight Shaming - Comments

Skinny shaming does not exist. Fat people are the ones being oppressed, not thin ones. Yes, I am very much aware that thin people are often the target of jokes, and that's also wrong, but it's very different from what fat people suffer. Thin people have the privilege of seeing their body shape represented in the media, and are portraid as "normal" people. Fat people on TV are very often made into stereotypes or laughing stocks: the lazy yet funny father of three; the fat high school girl who's dating the sexy jock and that makes him seem like such a good guy; the fat woman who suddenly lost loads of weight and became attractive and desirable out of the blue, because fat women can't possibly be hot without first losing a few pounds. There's TV shows dedicated to shaming people for being fat: Biggest Loser, loads of crap on TLC, I Used to be Fat and all these other MTV trash shows. Fat people are labelled lazy, stupid, losers with no self control. Fat people sometimes have to pay for two tickets instead of one in certain airlines, they can't ride certain rides due to their weight, they have trouble finding clothes that fit. Not to mention the policing of what they eat, when they eat and how they eat it. Fat people are only sexually desirable as a fetish, their existence is under much more scrutiny than that of slim people. And I'm not just talking about folks who weight 200+ pounds. In this society, anyone who is 5 kilos over the weight deemed acceptable is also treated like shit and made to feel like they need to change, bullied into anorexia and bulimia, bullied into hating our bodies if they don't look exactly like people think they should.

So think twice before comparing fat shaming and fatphobia to the bullying slim people suffer, which is pretty damn horrible, but cannot compare with the humiliation others suffer just for having fat in their bodies.

I agreed with you up until the point you got to shaming people with Eating Disorders. Eating Disorders are a mental disorder. If it's alright to shame someone with an eating disorder, does that give us the right to shame someone else with a mental disorder?

Other than that I did enjoy the article. I'm glad to read an article on the matter. For one thing, we never hear about men being shamed. We just assume that everything is rainbows and unicorns for them. Second, no one ever thinks of shaming 'the skinny' after all 'being skinny is a blessing'.

If you ask anyone to describe what I look like, the first thing they usually say is small, short and thin, or whatever. Great, thanks! I trained hard to get the HEALTHY body that I have now. Something that does bother me is when someone points out how much I do/don't eat. I love food, I love pasta and Pirogues, chocolate, just like everyone else. It shouldn't bother other people what I am putting into MY body, or the fact I way a healthy weight and you can see my ribs. If I need to have a conversation with someone, it'll be my doctor.

Being a female who has a naturally thin body type, my thoughts have been filled with questions like "do people not see that saying harmful words towards skinny people is just as bad as the latter?" For so long, I have tried to find a way to voice this opinion or find another person who understands. I am so glad that I found this article. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you for writing this. I cannot wait to see what you will continue to write about.

@ satanicvibes @ oblivious_hipocrite @ Love The Sea If you're going to keep up this discussion, please do it elsewhere so my Alerts stop blowing up. Thank you.

@ oblivious_hipocrite
Anyway, I'm not trying to argue. I just wanted to throw that out there because I hate when people make people feel bad for having an eating disorder, because it isn't exactly in their control.

@ Love The Sea
Yeah I totally agree. Depression has a lot of different effects that aren't always sadness. Things that stem from depression are anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, anger problems, stuff like that. You just only got the OCD effect of it. But depression is literally a depression, or lack of a specific neurotransmitter in your brain, which can cause all of those effects. It doesn't always make you sad or give you an eating disorder or anything. But yeah, it is totally genetic.

@ oblivious_hipocrite
I've also had depression since I was 13. I didn't say it always caused eating disorders. But eating disorders come from the depression of a certain neurotransmitter which causes distorted body image disorder. OCD can also contribute to eating disorders, with the need to be perfect. There are a lot of things that cause it, but depression is the root of it. Depression isn't just being sad. It has a lot of different effects as well, and sometimes people can be depressed and not be affected by sadness at all.

@oblivious_hipocrite

I kinda disagree. Depression and OCD very often do cause eating disorders. People with OCD pay lots of attention to the small details, and tend to be very meticulous. It stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And people with depression, are, well, depressed. Both can cause eating disorders.

@ satanicvibes
I've had clinical depression since I was 13 and I've never developed an eating disorder. I think you mean body dysmorphic disorder or something. Depression and OCD can be comorbid with an eating disorder but they don't cause it. If anything the eating disorder would cause those two.

@ Love The Sea
That's what I've been trying to say.

@satanicvibes
...Sorry, i don't really mean to interrupt or be mean or a smart alec or anything, but I have OCD and it's more of a genetics thing. I've had it since I was little and it's definitely not from depression. Anorexia and bulimia are also kinda the results of genetics. Girls with eating disorders tend to be perfectionists and want to please everyone, so if they're not perfect, they view themselves as failures. This is why they starve themselves and/or throw up what they eat. They try to get as close to perfection as they can. It is usually a choice they make, not to kill themselves or become a miserable skeleton of a person, but to get as skinny as they can. True, there is a mental state that leads to it, and it can also be a result of depression, but usually not. Mostly genetics. Also, I'm not trying to argue or start a fight or anything with this comment. Just stating a bit of knowledge. And I hope your friend is able to get out of the eating disorder. My cousin had anorexia about a year ago, and I know how it feels. :)

@ satanicvibes I never said shame the actual people. I said shame the acts of starving yourself and throwing up almost all of what you eat. Until our society is willing to come right out and say that these are, in fact, bad things to do, eating disorders aren't going to stop happening.

@ oblivious_hipocrite
Yeah my best friend has an eating disorder and I know a lot more about it than I'd like to. Anyone can start making themselves puke or not eat, but there has to be a mental thing from the beginning for it to actually develop into a full-on disorder. It actually comes from depression, like bipolar disorder or OCD. So no, it's not really a choice.

@ dru is beautiful. This is true. But while our society is making moves to decreasing the negative views of larger women, the same can't be said for thin women or men of any body type. While I am all for not shaming anyone for their body type, I disagree with a society that wants to shift views on one body type. It's still socially acceptable to make comments about "snapping someone like a twig" or commenting on how they need to eat more or throwing around phrases like "real women have curves" just to make one subset of a population feel better. I'm all for everyone being happy but if we have to sacrifice even a minority's discomfort and body issues at any time to appeal to a larger majority, I can't stand with that. Either we spread acceptance of all body types or we spread none and especially if trying to make someone feel better makes someone else feel worse.

I think it would be a shame to consider skinny and fat shaming equal. Skinny shaming happens, but it doesn't drive 80% of girls to diet before 5th grade.

People need to let go of the idea that overweight people eat too much and underweight people eat to little. In some cases this might be true, as there is a healthy amount to eat based on your body type. However, it's often not the case. As noticed in the article, some people have disorders or natural body types that make them look skinnier or more overweight than others. What matters is the health of the person, mentally and physically. I really enjoyed this article, and it think it made a lot of good points.

I'm glad to see this article. I'm a skinny girl who has curves (hourglass shape I should say) but I use to have friends (who are no longer friends) tell me I was too skinny. I just happened to weigh less than my friends but I'm at 5 feet even when they were 5'8 and 5'10. Of course I was gonna weigh less, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't shame people for any reason and if someone does have an eating disorder you should try to help them any way you can.

@ satanicvibes
I don't think it's the same thing at all. You're born with ADHD and depression comes whether you want it to or not (I have both) but an eating disorder isn't some inbred thing. YOU choose to start vomiting after meals or to stop eating completely. YOU have control over whether it starts or not. But once you do start it becomes a mental thing, then you can't help it.
The person is not their disorder. Shaming the disorder is not shaming the person.
I don't have an eating disorder but I know people who do.
Just speaking from experience.

Personally I believe, that from a health point of view, neither extreme should be celebrated. I'm not saying that it's acceptable to fat shame, or skinny shame, but neither should be seen as being a good thing to be.

Being very overweight OR very underweight, are both dangerous to health, for example both carry high risks of heart disease.

Again, as I said, I don't think people should shame fat or skinny people. However that doesn't mean we should sugarcoat things and pretend either is healthy to protect their feelings.

I hate the whole "real women have curves" thing that I see all over the Internet. I understand and appreciate the message this slogan is trying to send - that curvy women are beautiful too. But the implication that a skinny woman with no curves isn't as much of a woman is just bogus. I try not to be offended by it because I understand the message the slogan is going for, but since I'm thin and flat (certainly no one's idea of curvy), it's more insulting to me than it needs to be. It really is difficult for most people to see the double standard here.