Are You Listening?

Acceptance. Something so many adolescents strive for during their high school years. A strong desire exists to be accepted by your peers, but an even more brutal fight brews within to accept yourself. This battle is one that must be fought by everyone, for some self acceptance comes easily. And with self acceptance, you learn to accept the views others have of you. For others, this inner peace seems to be far out of reach.

Can you imagine being denied this acceptance? I’m sure some of you effortlessly can. What happens when it goes further than that? How do you cope when your high school becomes a war zone, and all around verbal shots and violent explosions surround you? Even more horrific, how do you survive when you become the target of this malicious combat?

The answer for those questions varies from person to person. It varies so much in fact, that I’m only going to focus on one of those questions; the last one. How does the youth deal with social rejection? In multiple ways, some are constructive, while others can cause massive destruction. Some of the teenagers learn to deal with the taunting and teasing. Regardless of the actions committed by others, they have learned to love themselves. Those individuals are in the minority, sadly. Others choose to isolate themselves emotionally, shutting off from the world around them. If they can’t be reached, then they can’t be hurt. Others feel the pressure more intensely.

From the desire to be skinny, to the deadly obsession with perfection, teens do everything they feel they can to stop this rejection. This will to be accepted can lead to dangerous, body altering behavior and self harm. Then, there is another way to tackle the issue of social rejection; revenge. This is, perhaps, the most desperate measure that can be taken.

School shootings are one of the most tragic events that society can endure. The needless loss of young lives is something we should all work towards preventing. I, however, often question just how much constructive effort is being put into preventing this violence. Not by individual people, but by society as a whole.

So often we try and place blame, but in spite of our search for acceptance, we stubbornly refuse to accept the blame. Who exactly is to blame for school shootings? Simply, you could say those who commit the wrongful actions; the one behind the gun. I, personally, will not be satisfied with that answer. And the media agrees with me! They don’t just blame the shooters, they go in another direction. Video games, music, celebrities, books, religion, movies, the internet; whatever they can possibly blame is at fault. The way the media is so quick to ridicule the subjects listed is almost scary. What’s even more upsetting is how we devote our attention to their accusations. Once again, the answers provided by the media just don’t seem suitable to me. Many may disagree with me, but I don’t feel that blaming is important. I would much rather focus my attention on prevention.

To understand how this violence can be prevented, it is necessary to comprehend what a typical high school environment is like. Society is able to function the way that it does based on the fact that we can relate and identify to different subjects. Cliques and labels are an example of this. A language is essentially an understood system of labels for different objects; it would be idealistic to assume we don’t need labels. The problem occurs when something so necessary is misused. When the process of forming cliques turns into a cause for discrimination. Selfishly alienating others can give you that desired acceptance in the eyes of someone else socially, but it's effects on the one being isolated are sometimes not capable of being repaired. Discrimination is a hate crime, so why is it taken so lightly by some schools? Perhaps because the word commonly used in schools, bullying, sounds less threatening than its legal counterpart, hate crime.

People hear discrimination, and automatically assume it's based on race or sex, which is incorrect. Any wrongful exclusion of another person is discrimination. Ignorance to the definition is no excuse for discriminating. Harassing a student because they lack the athletic abilities possessed by others is discrimination. Tormenting the girl with acne in the locker room is discrimination based on appearance. Bullying and discrimination go hand in hand. Both are used to empower the person committing the vile act. Both are used to gain some form of acceptance.

This type of behavior is seen every day in school, as well as other places. What exactly do you do when you see this? When you see someone being victimized and helplessly being abused, how do you respond? Do you confront the person committing the inexcusable actions? Do you provide emotional support to the victim? Or do you like so many other people, look the other way? Schools can make rules against violent behavior, but what good are those rules when they aren’t enforced? Society may be a singular noun, but it's composed of all of us. We make up this society, and it's our responsibility to take the necessary measures to prevent school shootings from occurring to the best of our ability. No matter how much stress is put on the importance of our accountability, there will always be those who choose to deny the burden. They refuse to listen to whats going on around them. Then what happens?

Victims make themselves be heard, they make us listen. Some do it by taking their own lives, or hurting themselves. Others want the whole world to listen. I am in no way justifying the actions of the teens involved in school shootings, but now their future is destroyed.The ones who don't commit suicide might as well have, because now they get to deteriorate in cold jail cell. Aside from their destroyed lives, other lives can be lost. Others can be injured. All of 'that' was preventable too, but no one paid attention, no one listened. You think from past mistakes like Columbine or the Bath School Disaster, we would have learned that our actions have consequences. For whatever reason society is having a difficult time learning a simple lesson. It's nearly impossible for some people to wrap their minds around the fact that they could be linked to such a horrific event.

It goes beyond refusing to accept involvement, but to what some call shock. Whenever you’re watching the media coverage of a school shooting, you always see teachers, students, parents, citizens of the town, or school administration talking about how stunningly shocked they are. Shocked they had such a violent student in their school. Shocked that it happened in their town. Shocked that it happened to their children. Anyone who says they are shocked by this is basically saying "I'm shocked we don't pay attention to students. I'm shocked that we are totally oblivious to what goes on around us. I'm shocked that we aren’t listening." I believe the term ignorance would make much more sense than shock in this case.

One of the most relevant issues surrounding school shootings is the lack of attention. You can always hear people talking. Talking at students, talking about them, talking around them, talking above them. Talking at students about how wrong violence is will continue to be pointless if they refuse to listen. Punishing bullies will remain pointless if their victim’s emotions are ignored. In all honesty, sometimes we just need to shut up.

"I wouldn't have said anything to them (Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold), I would have listened, that's the one thing nobody did" - Marilyn Manson on Columbine shooting.

I believe this quote is one of the most brilliant remarks on the Columbine tragedy, and it applies to more than just that particular shooting as well. Listening provides people with acceptance. To know that someone is concerned with your well being enough to listen to what you have to say is the ultimate form of acceptance. Each one of us possesses the ability to help so many people, and the ability to listen is a truly neglected power. Those of you who have taken the time to read this have taken the time to listen to what I had to say; and I'm very grateful for that. From here on, it's up to you; your choice. Are you shocked by what I’ve said, or have you been listening?