Lost in the Crowd She Created

"Dear Dru,

I'm one of these girls who only hangs out with her "friends" at school because she's known them for so long and doesn't really "fit in" with them but lately, I've found them starting to steal my identity because guys find "rock chicks" hot.

I know, I shouldn’t be complaining about this because some amazing bands are getting more fans but, I used to have an identity at school and now I feel like one of “the crowd”. How do I get my identity back?

Sincerely,
Lost in the Crowd I Created"

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Dear Lost,

Unfortunately, there's not a lot one can do in that situation. You can't force your friends to stop wearing the clothes that they're wearing. Believe me, I know how infuriating something like this can be. I've been through it in middle school, high school, and on Mibba.

And it would be pointless and you'd regret it if you changed your style to be different from the girls that are copying you. So, unfortunately, my advice is just to continue doing what you've been doing. Clothes aren't the only thing that make a person stand out. Personality helps with that. The guys will talk to the so-called "rock chicks" and realize they don't know shit about the bands they claim to love, but you do.

Sincerely,
Dru

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"Dear Dru,

Okay, so I'm best friends with this guy, we'll call him Jimmy, and I'm REALLY scared to call him because, a couple months ago, his mum called my house, talking to my mum and not allowing me to hang out with my best friend because I was supposedly 'doing it' already. I'm 13 and I'm a virgin, so that made me extremely angry. Then my mum called her back a couple weeks later, asking her (nicely, thank god!) why she thought I wasn't a virgin. His mum explained that she heard me talking to Jimmy and saying, "It's really easy. Try it!" The only time I could think of myself saying that was when I was teaching him the Macarena dance.

She did that about twice more, for different reasons (Jimmy and I were supposedly dating, and I was somehow caught smoking by them when I don't smoke), and I just want all this fighting between her and I to stop.

I'm not mad at her, I'm just mad at the accusations put on me. I want to resolve this peacefully, once and for all, without getting her mad or defensive.
Do you have any suggestions?

Sincerely,
Dazed and Confused (Girl)"

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Dear Dazed,

You are really stuck in between a rock and a hard place in this situation, mainly due to your age. Adults don't really enjoy listening to children, particularly when they're in the wrong.

I would call her house. Don't ask to talk to Jimmy, ask to talk to her. Tell her that some rumors are going around about you that aren't true and that you don't blame her for repeating them (even though you do), but that you would like to clarify that nothing she's heard is true. Tell her you'd be love to meet with her over coffee because you miss your friendship with her son and that you'd like to be on the same page as her so your friendship doesn't suffer.

I hope everything works out.

Sincerely,
Dru

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