BDSM: What is it?

BDSM: What is it? What is BDSM? Well, first it’s an acronym of B&D (Bondage & Discipline), D&S (Dominance & Submission), and S&M (Sadomasochism). BDSM is all of this, plus much more. It’s not just having control over another person, it’s also not abusing them for the fun of it.

Most think they don’t engage in any type of BDSM activities, but guess what? Most do. Just pinning someone down, giving someone an order, or even a silk blindfold over the eyes is all BDSM. BDSM can go from very extreme to very sensual and romantic. Like running a feather over your partner's body, or even an ice cube. It’s part of sensation play. There are so many little things that are not gross and insane in the BDSM world.

S&M is probably the most known, sadist and masochist. One likes to give pain, the other enjoys receiving it, and all in a consensual way. But when it comes to punishment, the Sub goes into a different mind set. Plus there are different ways to give a punishment. Some are only submissive, and others only dominate. Then there are the switches that go from one to the other.

It blows my mind how many people think BDSM is all about pain. Being chained up and whipped, and some type of leather clothing always involved. There are many who don’t and maybe just enjoy the world of spanking. Any kind of spanking: light spanking, hard spanking, caning, and paddles. Then there is bondage. Some just use it for tying a partner up and teasing them, but others can really pull out the beauty of the rope play and do beautiful designs on a persons body. D/S is more on the psychological side; having control over another being and vise versa, of course. The rules, the rituals, the roles of a Dom and a Sub in a relationship is defined so simply.

The lesser known category or rather Sub-category is daddy/little girl. This is a very loving and caring relationship, which has nothing to do with an actual father-daughter relationship. Little’s don’t think of their real dads/moms that way at all. A Daddy Dom takes care of his little in any way he can. The little obeys their Daddy. It’s basically the same as any BDSM relationship, just a different twist.

I must also say that BDSM is not abuse! Consent is a big thing. So are safe words. Once that word is said, then the whole thing stops.

Another thing, while most think the Dom is in control, that's not actually fully true. The Sub creates the limits in which the Dom must perform within. If it’s a soft limit, then the Dom can push it slowly; if it’s a hard limit they can not break that limit. If they try to, then they are not a true Dom and give the whole lifestyle a bad name.

Trust is a biggie. If there is not full trust between both people then it will never work. The Sub must know that the Dom will never do anything to harm their Sub in anyway. Again anyone that doesn’t do that is not real, and not safe.

A Dom and a Sub are also equal. One is not superior to the other. They are two sides of a coin, and one cannot exist without the other. They must respect each other, or it all falls to pieces. Of course, some in the lifestyle believe the Dom is superior and the Sub inferior. Which is fine, as long as they find each other. It’s like a puzzle. You need to find the right piece for everything to work.

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