Even though I agree with your main point - Homosexual couples should be able to exercise their right to marry - there' s a lot of things about your article that just isn't right.
Firstly: “15% of women are lesbian. 15. 15% of men are gay. 15. That’s 30% of not only America’s population that is homosexual.” - You math is incorrect here (your original statistics might be wrong also). You can't simply add those two together because they're from different statistical groups. If 15% of the MALE population are homosexual and 15% of the FEMALE population are homosexuals - if we're going with the statistic that the population between men and women is split nearly 50/50 - then that would mean that only 15% of the total population is homosexual.
Also: “In fact the biggest way AIDS spread is through drug users who reuse needles.” - Untrue. Sex is still the number one way to spread AIDS/HIV.
“It is wrong to assume all gays practice unsafe and promiscuous sex, when drug abusers are more likely to do so.” - I didn't get this at all. To compare drug abusers to homosexuals seems to go against your cause really. I mean, even if this is true, using drugs - drugs like heroin and cocain and other illegal drugs taken intravenously is illegal, so...how does this help support your argument.
“And tell me how would homosexuals getting married make it any worse? If anything, if you still believe that they are the cause, then wouldn’t it make it better?” - I don't get this at all. What are you trying to say here?
Inaccuracies, inconsistencies and unclear arguments really take away from your piece and from the point of your article. It loses clout and you lose credibility when you don't provide correct facts (and sources to back up those facts). It also comes off as sloppy and uncaring (for both your article and it's topic) when you don't do the proper research.
Aside from the issue with your 'facts', I found that this article was too...emotional. There was a lot of caps and exclamation points made to incite the readers' passion, but it just...it seemed unprofessional and lacked authority (more along the lines of a ranting journal than an actual article). The points you were making, for a while, seemed to follow some sort of logic, but then that logic and order seemed to have disintegrated. Towards the end of the article, I found myself losing track of how you reached from one statement to it's conclusion; some things you said just didn't make sense.
Firstly: “15% of women are lesbian. 15. 15% of men are gay. 15. That’s 30% of not only America’s population that is homosexual.” - You math is incorrect here (your original statistics might be wrong also). You can't simply add those two together because they're from different statistical groups. If 15% of the MALE population are homosexual and 15% of the FEMALE population are homosexuals - if we're going with the statistic that the population between men and women is split nearly 50/50 - then that would mean that only 15% of the total population is homosexual.
Also: “In fact the biggest way AIDS spread is through drug users who reuse needles.” - Untrue. Sex is still the number one way to spread AIDS/HIV.
“It is wrong to assume all gays practice unsafe and promiscuous sex, when drug abusers are more likely to do so.” - I didn't get this at all. To compare drug abusers to homosexuals seems to go against your cause really. I mean, even if this is true, using drugs - drugs like heroin and cocain and other illegal drugs taken intravenously is illegal, so...how does this help support your argument.
“And tell me how would homosexuals getting married make it any worse? If anything, if you still believe that they are the cause, then wouldn’t it make it better?” - I don't get this at all. What are you trying to say here?
Inaccuracies, inconsistencies and unclear arguments really take away from your piece and from the point of your article. It loses clout and you lose credibility when you don't provide correct facts (and sources to back up those facts). It also comes off as sloppy and uncaring (for both your article and it's topic) when you don't do the proper research.
Aside from the issue with your 'facts', I found that this article was too...emotional. There was a lot of caps and exclamation points made to incite the readers' passion, but it just...it seemed unprofessional and lacked authority (more along the lines of a ranting journal than an actual article). The points you were making, for a while, seemed to follow some sort of logic, but then that logic and order seemed to have disintegrated. Towards the end of the article, I found myself losing track of how you reached from one statement to it's conclusion; some things you said just didn't make sense.