Teen Fathers, More Than Just A Statistic

More often than not when you think of teen parents, most people think about negatives. Such as the couple is probably nothing but careless, selfish, or just unloved by their parents. Now adays the media has taken attention to really shine the light on teen pregnancy and expose the true trials and tribulations teenage couples deal with, such as the show Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant. These shows do a good job of demonstrating the reality of teen pregnancies and relationships, really taking the initative to show that pregnancy is not always a walk in the park, and how practicing safe sex can prevent this.

Most importantly in the media it seems that in this day of age, teenage fathers aren't always given the best reptuation. They are often portrayed as lazy, immature, and down right too selfish to realize their entire life has been shifted and responsibilities they never worried about before are now in full swing. There's no denying that when a child is brought into this world, it takes time and dedication. While I understand that that kind of duty is a bit hard to grasp at first, I'd really like to take a moment and share my experiences on the subject of being a teenage dad, as well as dealing with statistics the media has branded us by.

It is a given that when a girl becomes pregnant, her priorities have obviously changed. She will have to sacrifice a lot for her child; including friends, schooling, and social activities. It's also a given to know that the father will have to give up just as much, if not more. So what's at stake here?

Education and earnings is of course the major setback that affects the future of all the parties involved, especially baby. As a teenager, we know first hand that most jobs don't exactly pay much for our age range, more than likely mininum wage is the most common pay for teens. This perhaps might be a factor in crime activities that arise with the teen father who might engage in illegal activities, such as drugs or drug dealing. Not to mention lack of true understanding about parenting may play a role, perhaps not enough classes are being offered to a teen father to help them better themselves and their relationships with loved ones, including their child. With these factors being a typical outcome for teen parents, it's no surprise we've been branded the way we have.

While these studies might be true most of the time, I would like to let it be known that not every teen father is the same. I know this because personally I will be a teen father when my daughter is born at the end of October. The most common misconception I've recieved from people is that I'm not a high school graduate. Well, I'm here to tell you that is wrong, I am in fact a high school graduate and graduted with a 3.5 GPA. Not exactly a 4.0, however I did try very hard at school and can be one of those weird people who admits they actually liked high school.

I had dreams of being in a band, traveling the world, and even moving to another country one day. I of course had my own set of personal goals, and obviously those goals would change when my girlfriend of two years became pregnant. That also brings me to another misconception, we must be pregnant because we were too stupid to use protection. Well, my girlfriend was on birth control at the time of conception, yet our child was still formed. I know methods such as birth control or condoms are highly stressed, sometimes they don't always do the job they're supposed to do. Nevertheless, it was clear to me that my life was going to change in the most unexpected ways.

Currently my girlfriend is 24 weeks pregnant and naturally I've learned about a lot of things I had no idea existed, such as Braxton Hicks. I hope this doesn't come off as completely pointless, but I really just wanted to share my side of the story and try to shine some light on the fathers who do try to be a good father to their children, regardless of age. I may not be in college, but I do know the meaning of hard work. I work night shifts, I drive my girlfriend to her scans, I'm dealing with extremely weird cravings, and even a daughter who already has been showing we have a comedian on our hands. It's stressful, it's tough, but it's the most rewarding experience I have had thus far in my 18 years of life. I know when I go to work, I'm working for a reason, which is to provide a good future for my girlfriend and my daughter. I may have some growing up to do still, but I'm not too stupid to realize that I have to step up my game a little and bring more to the table than before.

I write this article because it seems a lot of people tend to assume the wrong things about us and it's frustrating. I personally have dealt with this kind of discrimination face to face with people who live in my town. I obviously don't have the time to explain my whole life story to people, but I can try to be some kind of advocate for other fathers like myself, having to prove their worth to people.

I really dislike how fathers are portrayed in the media, emphasizing how fathers are most likely to leave their child and girlfriend behind, or get into bad activities. I understand that this is sadly the norm with teen pregnancy, but what about that other half that isn't the norm? I know a couple teen fathers who do an amazing job at raising their children and providing for them the way a father is supposed to. Being a certain age doesn't automatically qualify you to be a good parent. My father wasn't a teen father and yet we haven't spoken in almost a year. Because of this, I know it's my responsibility to make sure I don't repeat the same mistake with my daughter and try to raise her to the best of my abilities.

Statistics may be accurate with most of the teen parent population, but those stastitics don't speak for ALL teen parents. While it is probably one of the scariest events I have endured, I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm very much looking forward to the arrival of our daughter in October. It might be a bit unbelievable, but trust me, there are good teenage fathers out there, you just have to be a bit more open minded.