Popular
There she is. All smiles and charm and wide gestures and tilted head. Sparkling eyes, loud-ish giggle. Great clothes, great style, great posture, probably great looking. Of course, you can barely see her because she is surrounded by what looks like a bunch of Secret Service agents, but you know she's there. Everyone does.
She is the popular girl. And while you may make fun of her, you and your best friend, when you are sure no one can hear you - how shallow or petty or fake she is, I'll bet that for at least five minutes every day, you wish you were her. Or at least, her best friend. Someone who slept at her house sometimes, tried on her clothes. Hung out with her friends. I'll bet it even upsets you sometimes
If I were to tell you to go up to a girl and ask her what it takes to be 'liked' I bet you anything she will reply "To be popular, the boys to want you, and to be pretty".
Every girl on the Earth will always look in the mirror and hate something about her body or life.... everyone, but it's a little unnecessary to binge or starve yourself because you want to lose a few pounds off your still developing thighs. Or to change everything that makes them who they are so they can get a boyfriend who probably will use them for the props they get from their friends for being with them. Though this may work for some girls... but what happened to having that power that women have within the soul... not on their face?
Boys come and go... but you always stay the same. You don't need to be gawked at by lusty teenagers to be pretty. Nor do you need to be an anorexic fake to have friends. It's not fair to your health or your heart. It looks pathetic to those who are themselves to see a girl dressed to the T, high maintenance, with a hundred lovers. No matter how much fame it gives you [or not] if it's not you then it's anything but pretty.
I'll tell you a secret: If you think there's something wrong with you, no one will argue with you. They will agree with gusto.
It's a subtle thing - what you feel inside about yourself kind of gets projected out into the world, almost like invisible vibes that other people feel.
Popular people believe in themselves, and in their ability to influence their peers. You think that pretty cheerleader never had a zit? Of course she did. But she probably covered it with makeup. And if someone did comment on it, she probably shrugged it off, and made them feel like a loser for noticing. It's the self assurance you give yourself when little embarrassing things happen that make them better.
Ever woken up in the morning with a massive bad hair day? I'll bet if you stopped worrying about it all day you could have walked around with it in a headband or something just to let everyone see you weren't upset about it. Why would this work?
Confidence. Self Esteem. If you fake it enough it will overcome you and even if you're not the 'it' girl, you'll at least be the girl who can take a problem and make it a momentary embarrassment.
Let's say that you are in one of those schools where the popular kids are the rich kids, and your family just doesn't live on Planet 90210. Or let's say the popular kids are all beautiful, tall, and blond, and you are a short, cute-but-average brunette. What if the popular kids are mean to everyone else, or shallow and condescending? Or what if your love is writing poetry and short stories and the popular kids can't write their way out of a beer can?
Forget it, I say. Find different friends. Friends who are kind, funny, "average", and have similar interests to yours. What good is "popular" if it goes against your beliefs, values or sense of self?
I'd like to hope that a fun, challenging, self-assured, talented, non-rich, non-jock, non-beauty can have lots of cool friends. If not, these "cool friends" are not worth your time. The key is to be positive about what you are, and cool about what you aren't. Are you really, humorously, klutzy? Make a joke about it. People hate liars and wannabes; they respect difference, usually, especially if that difference is excellent in quality, outspoken about it, but non-abrasive.
In short: Be whoever you are, be whatever you want to be that fits you best.
Just be you.
