Global Warming

As many people are now quite aware, the average global temperature is rising. However, we Pastafarians do not believe this is the direct effect of factories and cars and other emissions destroying the ozone.

The lack of pirates is currently destroying our earth.

As you can see from the chart I have supplied that can be found on most FSM related sites, the average global temperature and number of pirates in the world are inversely related. With the current (approximate) number of pirates being 17- this number includes the famous Maddox and the pirates in Somalia- it is easy to see that we need more pirates. Unfortunately, piratism has been frowned upon in general society recently.

To reduce global warming the following measures would need to be taken-

1) Remove all laws preventing piratism

2) Create more access to ships under wind power

3) Stop using cars and aeroplanes as a source of transportation and instead use ships; despite the longer route, this gives more opportunity for pirates to attack you and help piratism flourish.

Thank you.

And remember, the FSM welcomes all new followers with open vermicelli. To convert, go to www.venganza.org.

I would also appreciate it if readers would remember that the His Noodliness does not appreciate hate comments. This is merely the Pastafarian view of global warming and His Noodliness loves all.

RAmen.