And let's be real for a minute, it does make me feel bad! But that's okay.
I lofffff you. And it's okay that you feel jealous of my other friends. I wish that you didn't and I hate that you do, but it's okay. I don't hate you!
I have so many people right now who beg and beg for my attention. I learned through Carrie that having a single friend is hazardous-- so I’ve worked hard to strengthen my relationships with a lot of people. I’ve recently found so many people that I have so much in common with, our ideals, our hobbies, our plans for the future. And honestly, one who's high up on my priority list is Carrie. Yeah, suddenly I'm friends with her again. It hasn't been so sudden. What she did was wrong and it hurt, but she apologized, works hard every day to make up for it, and I've accepted her back. It was my decision and you're not the only one who hates me for it, but it was my decision and I'm glad I made it.
I'm having a hard time right now. I'm so busy at this time of the year. So much stuff to do with end of school, graduation, family time, finals, yadda yadda. I also have realized lately that even though my best memories are with friends, I spend most of my time alone. I try to make time for everyone, but I know in reality it doesn't work out that way.
I'm flattered and touched and amazed that you love me so much, and I love you just as much back! But, here's my secret that will probably make you hate me--
I feel smothered sometimes. Just a little. Same as your journal, don’t hate me. I just want to get it off my chest, as well.
I love that you love me, and I love you so much too. The tattoo thing makes me feel sooo endlessly special. You were there for me when I needed you the most and we spent so much time together and had a fabulous amazing time and I still love you as much as I ever had. I'm so glad I could help you when you needed my help as you helped my when I needed yours.
But. I don't know if you realize, but you text me everyday asking if we can hang out. Not only do I feel like crap telling you no, but I'm busy, like, all the time. Also, the sitting with you thing. I feel a little awkward there, and like I said, I want to soak up these last few memories of a group of kids who will never be the same ever again. Sometimes I feel like you only want me to be friends with you, and like it’s bad that I enjoy the company of multiple people.
I’m so messed up inside about this right now.
I love you, I really do. I don’t hate you, and never ever ever think I do. I’m never angry at you, just confused with you. Puzzled, as to your reactions to certain things and such. One minute it’s like you understand, and you’ll tell me so, but the next minute it’s like you aren’t actually okay with everything, and like you’re really hurting.
I don’t want you to be hurting.
But I know I probably do make you hurt.
And I’m sorry for that.
God I don’t even know what to say. How do I sum up endless thoughts into this writing? How do I find the words to explain how I feel?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, but at the same time-- I don’t even know what the but is.
Just trust me. I’m going through some crap right now and I’m trying to sort everything out. I love you, and it’s totally okay that you’re jealous. I’ll try to write you more when my head is less confused, but right now I keep typing the wrong ideas and making this a different situation.
I’m looking forward to Wednesday, though. I can only hang until around six, but I’m looking forward to it, nonetheless. Loff you.
And let's be real for a minute, it does make me feel bad! But that's okay.
I lofffff you. And it's okay that you feel jealous of my other friends. I wish that you didn't and I hate that you do, but it's okay. I don't hate you!
I have so many people right now who beg and beg for my attention. I learned through Carrie that having a single friend is hazardous-- so I’ve worked hard to strengthen my relationships with a lot of people. I’ve recently found so many people that I have so much in common with, our ideals, our hobbies, our plans for the future. And honestly, one who's high up on my priority list is Carrie. Yeah, suddenly I'm friends with her again. It hasn't been so sudden. What she did was wrong and it hurt, but she apologized, works hard every day to make up for it, and I've accepted her back. It was my decision and you're not the only one who hates me for it, but it was my decision and I'm glad I made it.
I'm having a hard time right now. I'm so busy at this time of the year. So much stuff to do with end of school, graduation, family time, finals, yadda yadda. I also have realized lately that even though my best memories are with friends, I spend most of my time alone. I try to make time for everyone, but I know in reality it doesn't work out that way.
I'm flattered and touched and amazed that you love me so much, and I love you just as much back! But, here's my secret that will probably make you hate me--
I feel smothered sometimes. Just a little. Same as your journal, don’t hate me. I just want to get it off my chest, as well.
I love that you love me, and I love you so much too. The tattoo thing makes me feel sooo endlessly special. You were there for me when I needed you the most and we spent so much time together and had a fabulous amazing time and I still love you as much as I ever had. I'm so glad I could help you when you needed my help as you helped my when I needed yours.
But. I don't know if you realize, but you text me everyday asking if we can hang out. Not only do I feel like crap telling you no, but I'm busy, like, all the time. Also, the sitting with you thing. I feel a little awkward there, and like I said, I want to soak up these last few memories of a group of kids who will never be the same ever again. Sometimes I feel like you only want me to be friends with you, and like it’s bad that I enjoy the company of multiple people.
I’m so messed up inside about this right now.
I love you, I really do. I don’t hate you, and never ever ever think I do. I’m never angry at you, just confused with you. Puzzled, as to your reactions to certain things and such. One minute it’s like you understand, and you’ll tell me so, but the next minute it’s like you aren’t actually okay with everything, and like you’re really hurting.
I don’t want you to be hurting.
But I know I probably do make you hurt.
And I’m sorry for that.
God I don’t even know what to say. How do I sum up endless thoughts into this writing? How do I find the words to explain how I feel?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, but at the same time-- I don’t even know what the but is.
Just trust me. I’m going through some crap right now and I’m trying to sort everything out. I love you, and it’s totally okay that you’re jealous. I’ll try to write you more when my head is less confused, but right now I keep typing the wrong ideas and making this a different situation.
I’m looking forward to Wednesday, though. I can only hang until around six, but I’m looking forward to it, nonetheless. Loff you.
:)