Ever Feel Like You Are Losing The Battle With Your Mind? Please Read and help me. - Comments

You can't forget things forever, theres so many things i want to forget. As hard as it sounds, you have to move on, you cant let things that happened in your past ruin your future. And when i figure out how to do that i'll give you a heads up.
I do advise talking about things, its anoying as hell but it does work sometimes.

I'm not sure how to forget forever but I have always struggled with memories of things that have happened in the past. Its almost an obsession. I think of how things could have turned out better or differently. I don't want to think about it but like you said you do anyways. I have gone through anything as traumatic as you have but I have had my own moments. The thing that gets me the most upset is my dad. I don't even know him and I don't want to. He abandoned me and my sister. He signed over all rights to my mother. He doesn't want me. The whole concept of the fact that one of the people who physically made you doesn't want you in their life has torn me apart. Stemming from that and a few other things of people leaving has totally warped my mind and I have trust issues and I always feel insignificant. All that turned into hating myself and my body to the point where everything that I eat I think about. I can't eat in front of others too because I think that they will think I'm a fatass.
Everyday is a struggle and I put on a front so people don't realize how much these things really have affected me. When I trusted my best friend enough to tell her everything (three years after becoming best friends) she said she didn't even suspect that anything like that had ever happened to me. She said that from the way I act you can't tell what I've gone through.
I don't think there is a way to forget whats happened only to come to terms with it. I don't know how to come to terms with tramautic events but I wish I did because it would make living so much easier. I hope that in time you will learn to come to terms with whats happened.
I feel like I am writing so much but two things that have helped me are talking to people I don't know. Places like this gave me outlet to just rant even if I ended up deleteing everything before it was ever posted. The second thing that helped is just know that other people have gone through the same things or similar and no matter how horrible your life feels and seems someone going through something worse. That taught me to appreciate life and it gave me a new outlook on life that made everything seem just a little bit better.
I hoped I helped even if it was a small bit. I know that what happened to me is not as bad as what has happened to you but if you ever want to talk you can send me a message.