Crush, In Like, And In Love . . - Comments

solovely; I know exactly what you are talking about.

I was adopted - my biological parents chose alcohol and drugs over their daughter. My parents now, I do not have a good relationship with them. My dad is always gone and my mother isn't the nicest person, let's just say. I've never felt the love of a family. My previous relationships were terrible - I was abused in some way in every single one of them. I didn't believe in love at that point either. Then this guy walked into my life, and he took me down to the police station at one in the morning to get a restraining order for me after witnessing the abuse himself. He held me while I cried. He does the sweetest things for me. He calls me every single night. He'll call in sick to work to spend the day with me; taking care of me because I'm ill. I do know that at this moment, I truly do love him. I could spend my life with him, I feel like. I know everything about him and I'm so comfortable with him. But, we are going to different colleges. A lot could happen . . He could meet someone else or I could meet someone else. We could realize we aren't in love and just care so deeply about one another. Only time will tell what will happen.

I have a lot of problems with my feelings about love. At first I thought I didn't believe in it because of what I had seen with my mom and her various boyfriends, and then what I saw from my friends relationships. Then I started dating a guy, and he said it right away, and I just couldn't say it. We broke up and this past summer I met my present boyfriend. I can say I believe in love. At first I told him I didn't believe in it, and we didn't say it ever but gradually we did.

I can't tell you if we'll be together next year, a couple of months, or even in a few days because that's how life is. I can't tell you he's the only person I want to be with because I might not be the only person he wants to be with later in life. I can't tell you where I'll be in ten or fifteen years, but I can tell you that right now I love him. He's patient and kind. He listens, and makes me happy. When we talk on the phone, sometimes we fight over silly things, but we can never get off the phone angry. He stays with me on the weekends, and I'm happy with that. During the week days I miss him a lot but I know that I can't have him all the time. I know that if we're far apart then we'll both want each other happy even if the other isn't.

I've had a hard time figuring out if I believe in love or not. My parents didn't do too great of a job with me or my siblings in that area, but I'm going to learn from their mistakes. I found someone that I love and want to be with.

Anyone else who reads it - feel free to put your own experiences, thoughts, and opinions!

Monstre - I don't know, I think love can cause a lot of apprehension, too. Especially for those who have been hurt before, or who are in a difficult situation. With my boyfriend, it was a matter of, at the time we lived 800 miles apart and I wasn't sure if I'd ever see him again. Neither of us believe in long-distance relationships, so for me to be in love with someone I've only actually met once was a difficult concept to wrap my mind around. I wasn't nervous about loving him, per se, but it was just hard to understand HOW I could love him when that went against my previous notions of how relationships work. But, one thing that I can say with certainty about love is that it's a learning experience, and it can make you question what you thought you knew.

missleahmarie; Thank you. :]

People do tend to use the word carelessly, but I do also agree with ad04993. Not only are they young and learning, but I think part of it has to do with a sense of pride and maturity when they get to tell others that they're in love. It's all about growing up, I suppose.

ad04993 - No, I don't blame them at all. I did it. I said it to a boyfriend who abused me - I didn't love him. Everyone does it, it's what they go through until they find true love.

AmorarEsDeVivir; Ah, well. I often forget that not everyone is the same as I am. xD

I guess I just speak from my own experiences. In my mind, anything that must be anazylzed and questioned and dissected usually doesn't prove to be a good sign. I prefer epiphanies to apprehension and inquiries.

I don't blame people for saying "I love you" when they're young though - I did it when I wasn't even in a relationship. They don't know better. They are growing; learning.

Monstre - Thank you so much for your comment :)

I think people throw around "love" when it's not even close to love - and this results in heartbreaks. You seem very mature for your age, dear. I could not agree with you more on everything you just said! :)

Monstre - Truth be told, the fact that I was in love didn't hit me like a ton of bricks, either. One day he told me he loved me, like he always had (meaning it purely on the basis of friendship), and the way he said it made me wonder whether he meant it as more than friends. It wasn't until that question was raised that I realized for months I'd been saying "I love you" without knowing whether or not I'd crossed the line from friendship into something stronger. I tell all my friends I love them, so the words came so naturally; the feelings had just evolved, and it kind of snuck up on me...And it was another month or so before I realized that I was in love with him, and I still can't exactly pinpoint when it happened. (He remembers the exact moment he fell in love with me, though...I think it can happen both ways.)

No - it could be from the start or it could take a period of years. With me, the first day I met him, I lost all attraction to every other guy and I just wanted to make him happy and that hasn't changed in ten months. I think it's best to start out as friends or even best friends - those make for the strongest relationships, so I've experienced.

And thanks :)

Amen... I'm tired of younger girls flaunting that they're in love, when their definition of in love is exactly what you described as in like.

Love isn't the thought of, "Am I in love?" over a long period of time. It isn't a question. Love is that impulsive, abrupt, heart-stopping revelation that hits you like a ton of bricks in the middle of the night as you hold her close and just listen to her breathe and feel her steady pulse in time with your own; the realization of, "Oh my god. I'm in love."

Love isn't feeling your insides twist when you see her. It isn't that sick, nervous feeling when you're around her -- perhaps a good feeling, but nervous nonetheless. Love is when you see her, watch her, think about her, and you just smile. You smile and think to yourself that you couldn't possibly adore every part of her anymore than you already do. Love should not feel ill and anxious in anyway. Love is kind, easy, warm... not apprehensive.

This coming from a fifteen-year-old girl who happened to fall in love with her best friend since the sixth grade. I told myself I wouldn't be like the others and mistake a crush for love. I made sure that it was true before I could believe exactly what it was.

Good observation with the crush and like thing. This was me personally; when I was in a crush, when I was in like and actually wold have considered dating the person, and when I fell in love. These are experiences, and like I said, it all varies - there is no wrong answer.

And that last part is true about the equation - accepting their flaws, accepting them fully is what matters, and not wanting to change them.

Love isn't necessarily something you feel "from the start," though. My boyfriend and I, we've been together over a year now and I hope I marry that man someday...but we started out as really close friends, and for the first two and a half years I knew him, he was the last person I thought I could ever be attracted to. Then he spent a week at my apartment and everything just...clicked. There was this chemistry we'd never noticed before.

I like how you specify those symptoms of "love" as being those of a crush or being "in like." So many people think, oh, I feel like I need him and I cant' stop thinking about him IT MUST BE TWUE WUV and that's kind of not how it works.

I believe being "in like" and having a crush are the same. That may only be true for me though; I have no idea.

As for your definition of love, I was not drawn to my boyfriend at first sight. I thought he was somewhat of a player, and weird, but I still knew he was a nice guy.

I believe love to be an equation.

If

Time spent together + Honestly + Trust + Loyalty =

Knowing the person fully (strengths and weaknesses) and still not wanting anything about them to change,

Then, you're probably in love.

Ha, you're welcome love :)

And every one has their own opinions; feel free to share! I'm curious. And there are many types of love as well, so it all varies.

-copies down onto a piece of paper-

Thank you for this interesting piece of information. (:

Love has no definition it just is just like water falling from the sky.Thats my opinion from a 15yr old