I wish I was P.e.r.f.e.c.t. - Comments

Another part about it that I forgot is that it's really offensive when people mistake me for having an eating disorder because I'm so thin. Even my own mother does it to me when clearly, I eat food and try to gain weight. That's the worst part, when people think I have an eating disorder just because I'm thin when in reality I'm trying to gain weight so I can be healthier. It just really bugs me :/

I have the same problem as you, I strive for perfection but I can't reach it and it bothers me so much. I'm insecure about everything to do with my body, my mind, and who I am in general. I'm 5'6' but I'm wayyy too thin :/ I weigh pretty much the same as a healthy 13 year old girl and I'm 17. I wish I was 130 lbs, but my body won't let me gain weight :/ The grass is always greener on the other side correct? I agree with Isadora Pierce about the models in magazines not being perfect, they are made to look that way. In reality, perfection does not exist. Even though I'm thin, I always wear jeans and a hoodie, even in the heat because I'm insecure about it.
eyeofinnocence does have some valid points but I have to disagree about some of the parts about naturally skinny people. It's not all that easy being thin. Hell, I even got teased about it in grade school. My mother constantly makes fun of me because I'm so thin. I have to worry about health problems as well. I am always freezing cold because I have no body fat. I cannot gain weight and it's so frustrating because I want to look healthy, not like a 13 year old girl. Neither side is perfect, both have their problems, but in reality, you were made the way you are for a reason. I have a lot of friends who thinkthey are overweight and it hurts to see them feel so bad about themselves but I also feel the same way.

agreed. i think it's so pathetic of me sometimes, because i know that i tell myself lies all the time....but i honestly hate the way i look. numbers are my arch-enemy. i hate the fact that i am not 145 pounds like i'd like to be, or a certain size of jean. I hate the 18 i wear. When I'm doing laundry, I always am wide-eyed at the waistline of these pants. I'm really really this fat.

my friends, i overhear them talking about weight....i feel really really fat when some of the larger bodied males splurt out their weight in numbers. all 220 pounds of me.

i used to always get jealous of my older sisters...they're so thin and pretty. and i'm so so so fat. i always feel like people would totally see me as a different person if i was skinnier. i hate that feeling.

but i always feel like it would be hard to trust people anyway, even if i lost weight....because i imagine people would actually take their time to talk to me...but would it be a true inquiry, or just because i got skinny?

i don't think some of those thinner people understand how hard it really is, but all the same they probably have the same pressure to stay that way.

I remember once in the car on a hot summer day, a few years ago...mom...sister fussing over my long-sleeves..."that's silly..."
i didn't want them to see what hid beneath.

i've come pretty far from where i've been....but it sucks sometimes. when i go to the stores and can't wear what i'd like.

i like to think that God made me this way, and made it a challenge for me to overcome, so I could really learn something.
There are people who are seemingly "automatically skinny"...but they'll never really learn how to take care of themselves if they can't tell a difference.

I have tried many times to change, but have I really really tried? I think it's about pacing myself and realizing I can't be totally skinny in one day...even though sometimes I wish it were like that.

I think satisfaction with inner-self is a definitely and indefinitely a process.

i hope that someday i can be happier with myself than i am.
i hope that someday i can find a boy who truly loves me inside and out and loves me for me. someone who would rather have me as i am than not have me at all.

i've never been kissed and probably won't be until i'm atleast 18 and gone away to college or something.

boys love me only as a friend. people like me for my hair and my piano and my voice...but do they love me for me?

one last thing... to share with you.
a year ago, a friend of mine's older sister came and talked to a bunch of us girls at church one sunday.
she's a very pretty young woman and she wears clothes i like and i really respect her because she is just a virtuous person and whatnot.
but she told us her story...
about how "knowing" is different than just "believing"

before I had moved here, when she was growing up...she struggled with obesity. i would have never guessed she had been the same size as me at one point.
She told us about how she ran everyday and counted her calories and lost weight. She also told us about how there are celebrities nowadays that seem to have everything...but then they commit suicide. Because these worldly things are not what bring true happiness. She had lost all this weight but found, she still didn't feel good enough or "happy.", even though she was going to the college of her dreams and getting good grades. she would go on dates, but since she didn't feel good enough, she would make excuses to leave early and go running. she came to realize that it didn't really matter what shoes she wore, because if people say "i love your shoes"...it doesn't mean they love you....it means they love the shoes...but through all her struggles she came to realize that recognizing others love for you sometimes takes time...and sometimes we don't fully realize how much we might mean to someone else.

she gave us flowers with two quotes attached...

"strength isn't something you have it's something you find."
and
"life is an occasion rise to it!"

I went home and cried and cried and cried....because I had never met someone in all my life who could have possibly ever felt the same way I have.

I am going to disagree with your first statement? I don't try to reach perfection. I'm too much of a realist to even try to think I can reach perfection. I just simply believe it's not possible to reach.

Other than that all I would have said was already said by Isadora Pierce.

You have to accept yourself for who you are before anyone worth your time will accept you. Those girls in the magazines - they have flaws! They're airbrushed by computers and technology. They aren't that teeny in real life. Even girls that you know in real life have flaws - even if it doesn't look like it from the outside, they're there. What you have to learn in life is that as you grow, your pain and your scars grow with you. You cannot change who you are - you can simply change how you see yourself.