You May Say I'm a Dreamer...Because It's True. - Comments

It made sense. Thank you for the advice. My title as a bassoonist has constricted me for far too long. I'd love to let it go -even for a little while- so I can see if I'd love it without everyone else watching me and pushing me to do what they want me to.

We really can be our own worse enemy, Allie. But, you have to go and do what truly makes YOU yourself, happy. We get one life, don't waste it trying to live up to the expectations of others. Don't waste it trying to live up to unrealistic expectations set by yourself. In the end, the only person who really matters in your own happiness is you yourself. If you aren't happy doing something, what was the point of trying in the first place? I'm not sure if I'm making sense, I always fear I am not. But, I think you might understand what I am trying to say. Do what makes you happy, if it's playing the bassoon...I say go for it. :)

I think you know, Johniece, that I have many aspiring dreams. I could fulfill any of them I want, but for some reason, I don't. For the past year and a half, I have struggled with life's greatest question: Why?

The only conclusion I can deduce is that I don't want to be labeled. I was "The Bassoon Prodigy." That's what everyone knew me by, and it is still what people know me by who haven't seen me in a while. I can't escape it, no matter how hard I try.

To some, I am a painter. I picked it up too easily, and have been tempted to sell my work at local shopping areas.To others, I am that talented writer. Teachers see me as the perfect student, even when I try not to be under a teacher's radar; it is inevitable.

Right now? I am a singer. If I wanted, I could get noticed, but do I want what I had with the bassoon? Fame, even in its most minor of versions, is more stress than it's worth.

Perhaps I have a terrible ego, and none of these abilities are truly as prominent as they seem. Perhaps it is all in my head, and I shouldn't let my social anxiety triumph over my pathway to success. Or, perhaps, I am right. If I am right, I fear that I will never be able to step up to the standards I really have for myself. And, that right there, is failure in the making.

Omg...*wanted to DO with my life. I really should learn to type slower. >>