That shizz ain't cute, just saying (Female roles in relationships) - Comments

V if you've read what I said then you'd see I DO enjoy doing those things but not for people who expect a girl to be that way as if it's just how it should be.

Plus I would marry someone I trust to make big decisions bit in OUR life TOGETHER no single person is dictating how things turn out cause it's not a single persons life. And if you have that person doing it all the time then in the end even if he listened to you you're saying his morals are above your own. Personally I think relationships should be equal not one above the other and second off it sounds ideal to say you'll find the right man who just does all this great stuff when no one is perfect in the world.

I say don't marry someone who you don't trust with the big decisions.

...I'm not just going to be a housewife. I'm going to be a teacher, I'm going to work a full time job. When I have children I'll stay home with them until they're older, but I plan to work.

Maybe it isn't the way you want to do things and that's fine, but that doesn't make it wrong. I am going to marry someone who I trust with decisions like this, so it isn't as if I don't have a say in these decisions. I decided who to marry, after all.

If you don't enjoy that way of doing things, that's fine, but that doesn't mean that it isn't caring or loving. You've just seen it a different way than I have.

I agree with this. The people I live with believe that women should do allll the house chores. Like there are 9 of us here, only me and my cousin are made to do chores while the men get to sit in the living room and watch tv, it really irks me because I don't see why they can't help a little. I've even raised the issue with my aunt, she works 12 hour shifts, so she really can't help because she needs sleep, but she agrees that her son-in-law, his nephew, and son, are some of the laziest and disrespectful people.

If I am to be in a successful and happy relationship my partner and I have got to have things leveled out, which I've already talked to my boyfriend and he agrees that we both can share house-work, we both can make decisions, and I do not have to live under his finger nail. The only thing is, I have to do most of the cooking... why? Because he'll burn down the damn house... I don't want that to happen, plus I like being the doting type rather than doted on. I just don't like the feeling of I have to clean the clothes, clean the bathroom, the living room, cook and then clean the kitchen--and if they feel like being lazy and sling their stuff on the counters, well I have to go clean that. No, it's not fair. Like you said, I'm not a big feminist. I'm just not going to allow someone to treat me like a lower person just because of a social view of women.

V yeah I totally get you :) after sitting and thinking it over for a while I guess I reached a small boiling point and then this blog came to be lol. But animals ftw!

My dad had three daughters and no sons. From being waited on head and foot when he was younger (he was the youngest son), he had to change a lot to live with four women. But the roles my parents both played taught me that equality (especially in a society like ours) was something that both people in a marriage needed to agree on from the get go and work together to preserve. I agree with what you say here. I mean, I'd clean and look after my husband, but when it comes to decision making (like Goatie said) I don't think it'd be fair of him to expect to have the final say.

My own mother has a tough time getting me to do what she wants me to do. But the most annoying thing about is that there are guys (ok about 80 per cent of the Fijian guys I've come across in my whole ENTIRE life share the sentiments of "A WOMAN BELONGS IN THE KITCHEN" mentality. I'll be damned if someone told me that my life's goal should be having children and looking after my husband. Screw that, you know. And if my inadequacies in being the "perfect girl" keep me from finding a "good husband" then screw it. I'd rather live with twenty thousand cats than an unappreciative idiot any day.

This blog just made my day, seriously. I've been feeling exactly the same way for so long.

-primitive- it's reverse with me pretty much if mom says no then that's all there is to it. I mean sometimes they will get in fights about stuff cause of it but mom pretty much wins. I don't find either way fair. But I don't mind letting some things go by like curtain color or should we ground the kid or take away their phone? Stuff like that isn't too important but other things are and both people should decide together.

See growing up if my dad said "no," it didn't happen, I don't agree with men having the final say in everything. Besides, it's like if I wanna do something and he says no I'll probably knock some sense into him.

-goatie-
That works if you're just going to be a house wife. If you're both working and he doesn't do his man type house chores or have other ways to show apreciation that's beyond what you both do incommon, then I see no fairness.

I do not see how the finalsay thing is fair OR caring at all. I don't think that's right at all let alone for you to be pre agreeing with it ahead of time not knowing what might occur. I could say something like I'll let my husband decide on things that aren't a huge deal even if I disagre. But if I feel strongly about something that is very drastic I will not let him call the shots negotiations will have to be made it willnot be just his way or just my way if such an issue comes up.

When I get married, I to be submissive to my husband. He has, after discussing things with me and looking at them objectively and choosing what is best for all involved, final say on most matters. This only works when you are married to someone who puts you before themselves, someone who loves you and wants your true happiness, and someone who is morally right and just. I want to take care of my husband and in turn he will take care of me.