Five Writing Turn-Offs Committed within the First Chapter - Comments

  • raroman

    raroman (100)

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    Lurv the ending gif, hon :)
    September 9th, 2012 at 01:44am
  • raroman

    raroman (100)

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    Lurv the ending gif, hon :)
    September 9th, 2012 at 01:44am
  • raroman

    raroman (100)

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    Lol. Avada Kedavra his behind. You funny, man.
    September 9th, 2012 at 01:44am
  • raroman

    raroman (100)

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    Blue like the sea? Thats cliche? It always seemed boring to me.
    "His eyes were dark blue, with a gleam in the corner of the pupil, similar to the moon shining on the ocean on a dark night"
    Is that cliche?
    September 9th, 2012 at 01:43am
  • daughter

    daughter (100)

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    This is all so true! I don't usually catch myself doing this (anymore), but I think I'll still refer back to this once in a while just to keep me on my toes.
    September 9th, 2012 at 01:34am
  • Neon_Skies_Killjoy

    Neon_Skies_Killjoy (100)

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    AMEN!!!!
    I read that and I become bored. I wrote that in my earlier stories.
    I became bored with them.
    So yeah.
    September 9th, 2012 at 12:55am
  • atomika wave.

    atomika wave. (600)

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    I agree with all of this! If you're going to begin a story you think is different, begin it in a completely nonexpected way! I love the Tyler gif by the way. He is great.
    July 6th, 2012 at 03:21am
  • Join the Masquerade

    Join the Masquerade (100)

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    I agree with all of your points except the first:

    "My Point: If you start with an action, unless its something extraordinary that the average being doesn't do, its less likely to pull the reader in and keep them reading."

    I like to read stories that I can relate to, in a way. Though, I think I get how you mean it. I don't want to hear, "It was Monday morning and I got up for school." I wanna hear something insightful, but not so extraordinary that I cannot relate.
    June 20th, 2012 at 07:09pm
  • Boats and Birds

    Boats and Birds (100)

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    Ugh so true!
    June 19th, 2012 at 08:27pm
  • illuminarmi

    illuminarmi (100)

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    these are some really good points. i agree with all of them and i think this is very good advice for beginner writers.
    June 18th, 2012 at 06:30pm
  • CharlieHunnam

    CharlieHunnam (100)

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    this is pretty great. i of course had a few chuckles, but honestly, who couldn't NOT chuckle at some of these? gosh, i can think of so many stories i've read like that. the quote... Walt or P.T. Barnum? and YESSS!!! For Tyler the Creator<3
    June 18th, 2012 at 05:03pm
  • framing smiles.

    framing smiles. (100)

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    Really good points! I agree with each and every one of them. Hopefully I've stayed away from all of them. (:
    June 18th, 2012 at 04:35pm
  • delirium.

    delirium. (1200)

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    Hm this is actually helpful. I think I may know how to go about my next chapter now. :D
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:41am
  • ericafbabyy

    ericafbabyy (100)

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    This a thallus was pretty helpful. And the Tyler The Creator addition at the end, MADE MY NIGHT<3
    June 18th, 2012 at 05:03am
  • cannibal.

    cannibal. (145)

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    Hm, I'm guilty using several of the things you've mentioned in here when words have failed me. Oh well.
    June 18th, 2012 at 03:57am
  • hands

    hands (100)

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    "Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."

    "He was as tall as a six-foot three-inch tree."

    "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
    i died seven times omfg.
    i love writing terrible analogies though.\: not in, like, serious stories, though. okay maybe in serious stories.
    June 18th, 2012 at 03:53am