Maybe I'm Just a Prude, help? - Comments

I cannot stress this enough: If you don't want to do it/ don't feel comfortable then don't do it. If he truly loves you, he'll understand. Please, don't do something you don't want to because you know he wants to. I know relationships are hard, and they're confusing. I also understand that you want him to be happy. But don't sacrifice your happiness or your comfort for his.
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Wait until your ready. I was with my fiance 3 years before we had sex. We've been together almost 8 years now. When the time comes, You want it to be magical, and "perfect". Wait until your 100% sure your ready. c:

Oh, and hey--if he's worried your relationship is stagnating, there are OTHER ways for the relationship to grow. Any relationship can stagnate, but there are deeper levels of emotional connection, there are tons of new things to try together--I think new (non-sexual) experiences are a great way for relationships to grow--and personally, I even like intellectual stimulation in a relationship. (I usually feel my relationship is stagnating if he and I can't mentally challenge each other.) If you think it would help, talk about other places your relationship can expand so you can take your time on the more physical side. =)

*hugs* Good luck.

I think what it boils down to is, you need to make sure he understands exactly how you feel and that it has nothing to do with him, and I think whether he is capable of respecting that will be a real measure of where he is in the relationship vs. where he says he is, you know?

@ AmorarEsDeVivir
Perhaps I can just show him this and hope your arguments can convince him. He's a reasonable guy and all about the rational. Thank you.

@ FallingGracefully
See, I'd been dating this guy about three months, too, and I went further than I was comfortable with with him, because he wanted to...and once I did, he just asked for more, because that's how I could show I loved him or whatever.

Honestly, it sounds like you show you trust him by talking to him and being honest with him and telling him personal things. A lack of sexual activity (whether it's sex or just other activities) does not equate to a lack of trust. It sounds like it's just something where you personally aren't ready for it and it has nothing to do with him or the relationship. If he honestly thinks a relationship absolutely cannot exist without sexual activity, then he has a LOT to learn about relationships. If he continues to pressure you and make excuses as to why you should feel obligated to go further with him, then he is showing a blatant lack of respect for you AND for the relationship.

I say do only as much as you're comfortable with. If he breaks up with you over that, I know it hurts--like I said, I was in the same situation a few years ago--but you deserve someone a lot more understanding and respectful about your personal boundaries. A genuinely loving relationship never includes that kind of guilt and pressure from one party onto another.

If you don't want to, then that's that. He should never pressure you to do anything you're not ready to do; that isn't love at all.

He's not pressuring me to go all the way. Just a bit farther. And we've been dating about three months. I don't want to break up with him. He doesn't want to break up with me. But he thinks it's necessary. I don't.

(On a side note, this guy sounds a LOT like my first boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 18, who broke up with me right on the three month mark of us dating, and to this day I think it has at least a little bit to do with the fact that I wouldn't put out. He used almost all the same arguments to get me to go farther with him than I was comfortable with. I tried it, and panicked and had to stop him because I wasn't okay with it, and he couldn't seem to understand that.)

I was understanding until it hit the "trust him and form your opinion afterward" part. Um, no. If you don't want to, you don't want to. It may just be a matter of you not feeling ready, and if that's your choice, then he should respect that. And if he really loves you, he would. I feel like he's just pressuring you more than anything.

It might not be a specific reason you're not comfortable with it. It might be just that--you're altogether not comfortable with that level of physical intimacy right now. And that is your choice.

He shouldn't be begging you, or trying to change your mind, or acting like acts of physical intimacy are necessary to "prove" that you care about him. I don't feel like he's respecting you at all here.

How long have you been dating, if you don't mind me asking?

I think you can trust someone and not want to do anything physical with them at the same time. I had my first bf when I was 17, and your blog kinda reminds me of that. He wanted to be more physical, and I was way uncomfortable with that.
I wish now that I'd stuck to my own opinion and thoughts on it, and not just let him have his way, because I cared about him.

If you're uncomfortable about it, it's not a guarantee that just doing it will get you past that discomfort. It may stay. And you'll feel twice as horrible after.
But it might get you past it.

The important thing is that it is entirely your own decision what you do with your body. Don't let anyone else have that say for you.