April 8th, 2013 at 02:58pm
I think I'd love to go on national tv to do a talk on the chemistry of a carrot's core. I know little about chemistry and nothing about carrots. It'd be interesting nonetheless. But the best way to overcome a fear is to keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. High school should be the most fun years. I had a blast, you should too.
You've gotta go anyway, may as well go in headfirst and say "come the fuck at me fear". Fear is an emotion and emotions are fake. Actions are real. Just stepping into the school grounds is taking action. Keep it up. One step at a time mate.
I'm aware about how teachers 'care' about me, but honestly I've only ever met about two teachers in my life that ACTUALLY care. It's one thing to say you do and even ask a student if they're okay once and a while if they're acting particularly out of character but very few teachers have actually tried to pay attention to that sort of thing. To be honest I don't want to confess this sort of thing to adults I have to see everyday. I don't want to have to face them and admit that I'm freaking out inside. It probably doesn't help that I'm not the type of person that would typically have this problem. I'm not shy, or quiet. I'm loud, a hardworker, very confident in appearance and I take active participation in class. It's the only way I know how to act, and half of me wants to just punch myself in the face to shut me up. I usually explain my absence to sickness, and often it's actually true enough I don't feel like I'm lying.
Gah, now I'm ranting. Sorry. What I wanted to say is I'm already seeing the school psychologist every other week to deal this with among other social/emotional problems I'm trying to deal with. It's not quite working and we're trying to deal with anxiety issues first.
Thank you for your advice! :)