Love/Lust/Life. I Need Advice. - Comments

Thank you both for your thoughts on everything. D and I ended things last night with a long talk, cuddling, and 'break-up' shenanigans (would it be 'break-up' though, because we were never really together?). Erin's the only one that knows at this point, we're not really broadcasting it and I are just going to wait for the rest of the guys to figure it out on their own. More than likely this coming weekend when they wake up to find me on the couch instead of D's room.

I guess I'm just going to let everything cool down for a bit, Rock on The Range will be a bit weird now as we've already had the hotel room arrangements planned out and I refuse to give up sleeping in a bed for the weekend so I don't know if D is still going to share one with me, sleep on the floor, or trade with A or K and have one of them share with me.

I'm not really upset that it's ending, I guess I sort of knew it would happen eventually, but a girl can dream, can't she? I don't think I'm going to pursue A, just sit back and see what happens with everything. If he comes after me, then so be it, but I'm going to make it clear that I want a relationship and not just a friend with benefits, and then go from there.

Everything's just kind of jumbled in my head right now, partially from the hangover I still have and partially because of everything that was talked through last night. So, yeah.

I think that the decisions you make about each boy should be independent of each other. Like, for example, you are not sure you would end things with D because of you are unsure if A likes you in a non-platonic way. I don't think that should be the reason, you know? I think that if you terminate your relationship with D, it should not be because of A. A should have no influence in that decision. And vice-versa.

I have always got a bad feeling when a person finally starts taking interest in another person because said person has started something with another individual. In this case, I don't think it is the whole "Seeing her with someone else has finally made me realize my feelings for her" thing, I think it might be more like you were so focused on A that when you started your relationship with D, A started to miss the attention you use to give him. If that's the case, that is definitely not cool. You should be with someone who wants to be with not because they like the attention you are giving them, but because they like being with YOU.

I also don't think you should continue with D if he doesn't want a legitimate relationship with you. That's not fair to you. I think that a person who is in that situation will suffer because they want more that the other person is willing to give. It's not healthy for either people, and it's like the number one rule not to break when you are in a FWB situation. Speaking of those, from my experience and the experiences of many people I know (IE, it is the most frequent interaction between people in college) sometimes it works, at least for a little bit, but eventually if something does change or something doesn't give, it doesn't work out. So be catious. The most frequent cause of heartache I have seen in a FWB sit. is when one person starts to develop romantic feelings for the other, and the other person doesn't want that kind of relationship.

Anyway, like I said, I think you should ditch them both. A had plenty of time to make a move with you, and he didn't. It's kinda shifty that he might be starting to when another guy is already in the picture. D doesn't seem like he wants to change the relationship he has with you, and if that's the case you shouldn't stay with him. Being used for sex when you want love is the worst.

I guess the last thing I can say is: COMMUNICATE! It might seem hard and scary, but communicating what you feel and think is the most crucial thing in relationships. Sooooo many people don't communicate and their relationships suffer for it. Like, honestly I think you should really just TALK to them, you know? That is the only way you'll really know. And don't wait either, waiting will just make you chicken out, or question yourself to death. What is the worse that could happen? And if it doesn't go positive, than those boys weren't meant for you. You deserve someone who will listen to, and respect your needs and wishes just as they deserve that from you. COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING!

Best wishes! Keep us updated okay?

Seems like A's content with being just friends with you and D likes to bury his D in you. Unless he's explicitly said he wouldn't mind a relationship after your friends with benefits thing I wouldn't count on it. If A was interested, wouldn't he be pissed at D for D-ing you? (haha sorry, the use of D is fun). If they seem cool about it maybe they're happy with how it is in their situations. I've been in the same position as A many times, whereas I've been good friends with a girl that I share a lot in common with, but not been interested in anything more. Sometimes people just don't interest you in that way, even if they are cool as fuck.