daikirai desu.'s "Cruel Greenie and Co." - Story Review - Comments

@ PoeticMess.
I wanted the characters to become close and then have their pasts revealed in dialogue

@ daikirai desu.
Oh. I wasn't sure about the words. :) I don't know much about that language. Although Japanese was my first guess.

& yeah, that was the biggest thing. If you do get better at that, you're story would be a lot better. It's just one of those things that make or break a story for me. (: And as for the pasts, I'm glad you've got that planned. I didn't know.

It's Japanese
To answer the thing about the attitude of the girls, I modelled them after my Japanese friend and her sister.

I'll try and add more description (I've always needed to work on that )
But their pasts are going to be revealed later, along with the plot