I'm not an object. - Comments

@ WishingOnDeadStars
Haha, I wish I were allowed to punch them all in the face... but I'd be in the wrong, they didn't do anything to me physically so I wouldn't be able to say it was self-defense. It's terrible...

Like when that old man pointed to his crotch, I was on ritalin which is supposed to keep me calm but God I fought myself so hard because I wanted to throw my bicycle in his face... haha

God, I'm not saying this about all guys (becuase I know some very respectable men and teenage boys) but most men are freaking pigs. I'm just blown away at how they think they have the right to degrade women like this. It makes me physically sick. Darling, I wish I could hug you right now. Nobody deserves things like this to happen. I swear, if something like that ever happens to me, I'll be sending someone to the hospital in a coma.

I'm seething right now.

@ IFHY
Please hun don't ever think that is your fault. They control their actions.

@ Violetta3tears
It sometimes does feel that way, like if I make eye contact then I feel like it's my fault for looking in their direction :p haha it sucks

Not your fault. Nope, you better not believe that what they do is your fault.

I've never been around either of my parents when it's happened, so I just never bothered with it.

Exactly! I mean, whistling and stuff will get annoying and it does make you feel like an object, but when you ignore them and they like follow you or something? That's just beyond scary.

@ independence.
Yeah, well, I've always been very open about it with my mom because she's understanding. My dad isn't at all. And even if I tried to hide it from my mom, they do it while I'm walking down the street with her so haha

Yeah, well, that's how I see it as well! It is sexual harassment yet I have to let it slide! And honestly sometimes they do scare me, like crossing the street or chasing me? That is just plain scary and uncalled for.
All of it is uncalled for haha

@ lion eyes.
Exactly. I never told my parents about any of it because then they'd be like "Well don't wear those shorts then" or "Don't wear low cut shirts to school", and I mean, it's not even like my boobs were hanging out of my shirt. The logic is just so flawed.

And agreed. I mean, even girls will look at guys and be like "Oh he's hot" and all that, but as girls or women we don't catcall or whistle or anything. Or at least, most of us don't. We'll never stop them thinking about how we look, but it would be nice to have the whistling and other gestures stop. Because that's what people notice. They can't control your thoughts, but once you do a gesture, that's sexual harassment, in my opinion (unless you're flirting with someone who doesn't mind, but that's a different story."

@ independence.
I just talked to my dad about it, who's a cop, and he just can't seem to see it the way I do. He's just saying 'well if they're in a car, you should write down their licenplate. else you can't do anything' but that's not the point? This is your eighteen year old daughter, crying because she's afraid of what will happen next.

The worst part is that all of this happened to my mum too when she was younger, just as bad. In over twenty years, literally nothing has changed in the way men look at women.
Sure you can think someone's attractive but how do they not think like 'what if this were my sister' or their daughter? No one would want that for their loved one...

It just makes no sense to me. I get it, men and boys will look at girls and they will think the girls or women are hot. We can't stop that. But what needs to stop is them catcalling, whistling, and making crude gestures. (I hope that makes sense, haha.)

Same here. I've told my friends about it before, and they understand what I mean, but they've never had it happen to them so it's kind of like a partial understanding. It's like you understand more once it's happened to you.

@ independence.
Yeah, that's so horrible that they can just treat you that way because you're the only girl in their class?

Like the thing you say about smiling.. at some point during all these harassments I honestly thought that it was my fault because I made eyecontact with them that they harassed me. It's absolutely terrible, you can't look at someone without them harassing you anymore I guess?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences this, because sometimes it seems that way even though I know I'm not alone.. I'm alone within my group of friends

This. So much. I remember one time, I had just turned 14 a month before, and it was a really hot day so I was wearing a t-shirt and short shorts. Me and my parents were in a convenience store and these 3 guys walked in. The one lowered his sunglasses, looked me up and down, and smiled. I mean, I get that I've always looked a little older than what I am, but really?

Then my freshman tech class. I was the only girl in there, and 2 of the guys thought it would be okay to keep touching me and making comments. I can't count how many times they tried (or succeeded) grabbing my boobs, or grabbing my crotch. A couple of times they even pushed me onto a desk and held me down.

It's just terrible. Girls/women should be able to wear whatever they want without feeling like guys are gonna try something.

@ sobre mi cadaver
Ah yeah, well around here they tend to be a bit more strict about the whole rape thing?
But they should be more strict about harassment!

@ lion eyes.
Oh, you'd be surprised about rape and victim-blaming. Normally when a person is raped, the jury defense attorney might ask what she/he did to prevent the rape, as if it falls in their hands to do such thing and as if it is their fault getting raped. That's why rapist don't normally get put on to testify; it's normally the victim who has to defend themselves.

@ sobre mi cadaver
Wow, that's terrible... I've been lucky enough that they never actually touched me... but the looks and sounds and words are enough sometimes, just thinking about what they might be thinking when they look at me that way... makes me feel assaulted.

I hate when people try to find excuses for that! It is never right to do such thing... they'd never say that someone was raped because of the way she dresses, but as long as they just harass and not rape it's our fault?
I'm sorry your friends weren't supportive of you!

I feel you. It's horrible when most of women's narratives about encounters with objectification are so similar; it is absolutely terrifying.

At age 14, and I still remember this vividly, I was sitting outside with my friends; a group of men passed by in a Jeep and they starting yelling shit at us; I told them to fuck off as they passed by and then they hit the break and hit reverse. My friends were absolutely terrified and I was in shock that these assholes (well over 30) were doing this.

I sat on the floor and they approached us on the Jeep. My friends ran inside to the convenience store next to us and left me sitting there. I stood up, flip the assholes off, and got inside the convenience store as well.

On another occasion I was wearing this awesome plaid skirt that I loved so much. I was walking with my friends towards my boyfriend at the time and this old man (and I mean old as in 40s or 50s) passed by in his bicycle and grabbed then slapped my butt. I was 15 years old and later I was shamed by my friend who told me it was my fault for wearing that skirt.