What's going on with slut shaming? - Comments

To be honest, I think it's getting a little out of control, too. It's wrong to shame someone for having sex. Slut shaming isn't okay. But people seen to be ignoring the other side of the coin. I've seen more people -myself included - be shamed for not having sex. Virgin shaming, slut shaming, it's all the same. It's not your body, so why should you be able to judge?

This. Thank you for making this blog. I agree with it so much. It's really getting quite out of hand, this "slut-shaming" topic going around. It seems as though they are complaining about the bashing, but as I can see in the comments already on this blog, they're also doing a bit of bashing themselves. It's really childish. There's no reason to be rude or ignorant. We all have our own opinions on things, and you can rant about it until you're blue in the face, but I'm (and a lot of other people) still not going to make a huge deal out of "slut-shaming". It's not because I don't care; I've been called a slut before; but I just don't take the term very seriously. I understand certain people do, but there's no reason to. If you can say that the word doesn't have a definition, then why is it such a big deal? And if you know you're not what people are saying, then someone saying you are shouldn't effect you.

Just my opinion. No need for anyone to attack me. <3

@ born from a wish
Don't post any more hateful comments on my blog.

@ born from a wish
The term slut doesn't have a specific definition. What about people who use the term in a way they don't think is shaming? Would it be ok to yell at them, maybe rather than politely debate why what they're saying might not be nice?

born from a wish:

@ psychotic secrets;
So if a person is oppressing me I should just shut up and accept it? No. Fuck that.

This very thing can apply to the people who try to enforce their beliefs about slut shaming. Again, as I said earlier, I do think slut shaming is wrong, but there is a right and wrong way to convey ANY opinion.

@ luminos.
But just because you don't think it's a problem doesn't change the fact that it is a problem. Boom. I said something about it.

Also, because when you shame someone for their sex lives, you're saying that sex, how they have it, when they have it, and who they have it with, defines them. It doesn't, and to believe otherwise is a potentially harmful way of thinking.

@ born from a wish
I don't deserve to be yelled at for anything, especially not my opinion, just like I'm not going to yell at you for posting mean, rude, inappropriate, and highly uncalled for comments on my blog. If I don't think that slut shaming is a problem, then that's that and there's nothing you can say about it.

Here's what's going on with slut shaming, and why people are making a big deal out of it.

When someone says, "You shouldn't have sex with the same gender because it's not how I think sex should be," most people on Mibba rise up and say, "You can't judge someone for their personal lives! It doesn't affect you!"

Yet when someone says, "You shouldn't have sex with too many people/before a certain relationship benchmark/in a certain way [anal/oral]" because it's not how I think sex should be," and people start standing up and saying "You can't judge someone for their personal lives! it doesn't affect you," this is the response. "It's an opinion and I'm entitled to it." Yes, you're entitled to your opinion, but when your "opinion" is degrading to others, then others have the right to call that shit out.

Remember that bashing and/or being condescending towards another user is against the Mibba rules and guidelines. Remain respectful in your conversations. Thank you.

@ psychotic secrets;
Because you know you're wrong. ʘ‿ʘ

@ born from a wish

I said I am done.

@ psychotic secrets;
When you justify slut shaming, you're justifying sexism. Sexism is a form of oppression. Educate yourself.

@ born from a wish

Oppressing? Wow. Just no. I'm done. Just done.

@ psychotic secrets;
So if a person is oppressing me I should just shut up and accept it? No. Fuck that.

@ born from a wish

Uh, no.

If you think using a dehumanizing slur is okay then you deserve to be yelled at. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@ Varuo.
I haven't been yelled at, but I've seen it happen to other people on the site.

@ luminos.
Have you been yelled at, though? If so, that's a problem. But a strong opinion is not necessarily an attack, and issues like this are so controversial that people are typically going to have concrete beliefs.

@ She Said Poptarts
That's exactly what it is! I don't mind people sharing their opinions, but it seems to forceful lately and almost comes off as a demand. At the end of the day, people are allowed to (and are going to) think whatever they want to think, and yelling at them certainly isn't going to change their opinion.

The reason slut shaming is such a heated topic now is because "slut" is a derogatory and dehumanizing word. It should not be said towards anyone, direct or indirect. For example, if someone on Mibba made a blog calling LGBTQ people a gay slur, they would face rightful punishment for it. If someone made a blog calling African Americans a racial slur, they would face punishment. I'm not going to say the words, since I don't feel comfortable doing so and we're all aware of what they are. Both of those words are dehumanizing and derogatory to the respectful groups they are meant to be directed at. The term "slut" is a derogatory term used towards women and to shame sexually liberal women.

No derogatory term should be used under any circumstances and we should never ignore it when it happens.

With that said, I agree that certain users aren't going about this in the right way, especially with how they seem to be attempting to handle bashing on their own when they should go to the staff. It does create a hostile environment and I wish more users knew when enough was enough. But I don't think we should overlook the usage of such harmful terms, we should just be going about it in a less harmful and hostile way.