Emotional Breakdown Imminent [long and with some minor explicit language] - Comments

@ RachTheBat

Hahaha, maybe they're just the U.K and Australian versions of each other

It's frustrating, isn't it? I hate having to feel like I have to nag my boyfriend to do things... and I hate having to tell him that he needs to apologise when he fucks up and NOT say "I'm sorry, but it wasn't my fault..." that's not an apology. That's just another excuse. And it makes me want to slap him when he refuses to admit fault for anything... argh.

Yeah, our situations do seem similar. But yeah, must be a bit harder for you guys, since you both work. With me not working, I think mine should be easier... but I feel like I'm forever just waiting on him to show up. I'd go to him, but honestly he doesn't have a setup where we can hang out. His room is a shoebox, he has a single mattress on the floor and one office chair set up in front of his TV. His xbox is pretty much the only thing the TV is used for, he doesn't have normal TV stations or DVD's or anything... it's all about gaming. My room is like a double room, it's big. I have a queen sized bed, a TV, DVD player and cable TV.... so it's much more comfortable to hang here. Not to mention if I spent more time at his, his sister would suddenly want to come to stay and do whatever she can to drive a wedge between us. She's a bitch. Haha.

Yeah, I know what you mean. If guys could just express themselves a little better and communicate a little clearer, things would be so much easier. And hey, you're ranting about your guy is helping. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one in the world who has these problems with their man, so thank you

Yeah, we had a talk about it. He came back the same night I wrote the blog and we talked about it. I said to him that I just missed him and felt like I was low on his list of priorities and it hurt... he understood and actually apologised(!) for making me feel that way and assured me I'm not. He said he'd try harder to make more time for me... but unfortunately the past week hasn't changed a lot. He had two days off his full time job and I didn't really see him at all. One day he had to help his dad do some yard stuff, then he had his part time job... then xbox time. Second day, he ended up working most of it, then showed up at like 10:30pm at night. I got upset and I was seriously at my breaking point... I was ready to just end it, because I didn't see the point in carrying on a relationship with someone I don't see.

He got upset and refused to break up... or even take a break. I told him I needed him to actually listen and try harder... he said he was trying, but I pointed out that if he was, we'd see each other. So after a bit of sucking up on his part with the "I love you so much... you're my soul mate. You're my forever..." etc, I caved and agreed not to break up with him. I didn't want to, I don't even want a "break" but somethings gotta give.. y'know? He's gonna stay tonight, even though he works tomorrow... he'll just go to work from here. Which I appreciate, since he hasn't done that in a while as I pointed at to him. He used to stay two or three times a week and go to work from here, but I swear, since he got GTA he hasn't done that once coz he can't play xbox here.

So we'll just have to see how things go, I suppose. I told him he's gonna have to say no occasionally to his part time job, especially if we have plans because I'm tired of being cancelled on. He said he's working so much to save money so we can move out and whilst I appreciate that, it's pointless if there's no relationship anymore. I told him I want his time, not his money.

Wow... sorry for the rant! Hahaha. I appreicate you taking the time to respond and help make my feelings validated! You and
@ Skeletal are the best for that

@ Skeletal
Thank you for your insights. I appreciate you sharing your story with me, as it did make me feel better in a way, because it's nice to know I'm not the only one that has a difficult relationship at times. I'm sorry to hear your husband cheated on you... that must have been very hard to deal with. But I'm glad you were able to work through it and forgive him. That's very strong and mature of you

I did my best to tell him how I feel and that I need him to try harder... he got a bit defensive, but he understood where I was coming from. He came over that night and we talked it out some more. He apologised for not making me more of a priority and said he'd make more of an effort... unfortunately he fell into his complacent ways this week and I had to have another breakdown with him yesterday, but I'm hoping that it's finally got through to him. He had two days off and I didn't really see him.... I mean, he still had to do his part time job, but it was only for a few hours. He tried to say he was trying, but I just said that if he was really trying, we'd be spending more time together. I think that might have gotten to him and he's supposed to be coming and staying tonight. Hopefully his family doesn't fuck it up.... I'll be angry if they do. Haha.

He sounds a lot like my boyfriend, are they the same person? Haha. Mine hardly ever takes responsibility for his actions, I have to really push him to say sorry for things he says or does. He's a man, he doesn't like talk about feelings or know how to express them properly. He gets angry when I get upset, even when he makes me upset but he'll calm down and give me those puppy dog eyes and I'm like "five letter word dude?" Then he'll say it.

I think our situations are really similar too, except that we both work so we hardly see each other. I live at home still but I'm always at his house when I'm not working or I'll go straight to his after work, just so I can see him. The PS3 is a bug bear of mine too, I play it too so I know how addictive it can be but sometimes when I get home from work, I just wanna hang out with him, not the playstation haha. It took me leaving him back last year for him to see what he was doing but thankfully he realised what he was doing before it was too late.

Ugh, men. We have our heart to hearts too, usually after a big argument. He tells me how he really feels, after much pushing from me. His problem is he won't tell me if I've pissed him off, he'll just sit there and stew until one of us snaps at the other and all hell breaks loose haha. If he could just tell me when I've pissed him off, arguments could be avoided.

Wow, sorry for the rant, I'm supposed to be making you feel better not ranting about my idiot haha.

Have you tried telling him how you feel? Like, just a chat about how much you miss him? It doesn't even have to be a big "talk" you could just tell him you understand that he's busy and works a lot, and he has friends too, but you miss him a lot. Unfortunately, men don't really use their brains all that much haha. They do things and don't think about the consequences of their actions. And they expect you to be okay with everything they say and do. What's the saying? Men are from Mars and woman are from Venus, so true! Haha

I hope you get to sort things out and get come quality time with your man, I think it will be better for you when you're living together, at least then you're guaranteed to see him. I can't wait to move in with mine, a lot easier than living between two houses!

Sorry it was all jammed together. I'm not used to using this new phone yet.

I can see how you feel and where you're coming from and I don't think that what you're feeling is irrational at all. It kind of feels like instead of apologizing that he is just making excuses for things instead of owning up to things, right? I mean my man has one pretty demanding job where he works 8-5 everyday during the week and then every other weekend but sometimes every weekend and I can see the emotional as well as physical toll it takes on him. It's hard for him to switch off his mind and leave the worries of work at work and not bring it home sometimes. Like we live together since we're married so that makes it easier for time spending but if there's a big important job at work that recquires a lot of his concentration then some nights he'll come home and be sitting right next to me but he will be miles away in his head someplace. When I talk he won't hear me sometimes and I'll have to repeat shit over and over. Then if it's something important like an event I kept reminding him about then when the time comes he'll be like," why didn't you tell me?" I just face palm sometimes and get frustrated like he doesn't even see me sometimes but I know he's not trying to do it on purpose. He has some mental issues and his dictor actually just diagnosed him with A.D.D yesterday so that explains a lot. He makes time for me though even when he's tired but he didn't always. Back a year and a half ago he would zone out and barely talk. Our time was spent with him and his friends and when we did spend time he'd mostly complain. So after feeling neglect I started just talking to friends online and doing my own thing and then later he suddenly wanted to pay attention to me but I was already bitter and just zoned him out like he did me. Well that ended up in him being unfaithful because he was lonely for so long and said I never paid attention to him anymore. He didn't use that as an excuse but he had a severe mental break cause of drugs and stuff all at the same time . I was so mad because it's like when he neglected me all those months I never went out and cheated because I was lonely but he was obviously a weaker person than me. He's sorry and it's just like it took him almost losing me to realize how he'd been acting and treating me. So now instead if him playing games or being with his friends all the time we are always together. I like his guru end okay do we go and hangout with him as a couple and have a good time. We just really make the effort to find the time to be together. It makes me sad to see your guy isn't making you his top priority outside of work. I'm not saying he should be up your ass 24/7 and showering u with romance..., u even said u don't expect that either but you're not wrong for wanting you and him time either. I'm so sorry that things are tough for you tight now Hun. I guess just try to tell him exactly how you feel until he listens. Maybe if talking doesn't work then write him a letter but be sure to carefully explain to him first that you aren't trying to attack him but just want to get your feelings across. Sorry I talked about me a lot I was just trying to maybe show you that what you're feeling isn't wrong and most certainly not naive. I love you Hun and miss you. I so hope things get better.