I Broke Up With My Abusive Boyfriend || New Story - Comments

@ QuothRaven
Thank you, it's been a rollercoaster but I'm already feeling happier.

@ January Rose
I'm feeling a lot better, he was both mentally and physically abusive. Since I broke up with him it's been difficult but I'm starting to realise it's the best thing for me.

Oh my gosh, are you okay??? Was he physically or mentally abusive? (Sorry if the question is too personal) But if you don't feel safe or loved around him, then he is not the one for you. The person you marry should be kind, gentle, loving and never make you think that you are unsafe around them. If calling off the wedding was the best thing for you, then who is to tell you any different?

I'm not going to tell you what to do, it's your life, but I will say that he might get worse. If you don't cut ties with him, he'll only end up trying to pull you back in. Whatever his problem is, he needs to try and fix that before it does get worse and he ends up hurting you...seriously. Abuse is abuse, no matter what he's doing.

@ gates guardian.
that means a lot, it really does!

@ piercethecharlie
your welcome! that's what we are here for. and as a woman, i am don't want any of my fellow ladies getting taken advantage of.

@ gates guardian.

@ Goddess_Of_Mischief

@ teenagedream91
seriously thank you, to all of you. Everyone's said the same thing, I'm still doing a lot of thinking about the whole situation, even more so because he's still hassling me. I'm slowly becoming closer to the thought that me ending the relationship was the best thing for me but I'm also still in two minds.

With the response of this from everyone, I think it's time I actually took notice and try to forget about him because I'm tearing myself up inside just thinking about it. I can't you all enough, I never expected to get so much advice from people. If any of you have anything you want me to check out or anything of the sort, just let me know. I'll be happy to do it in return for your kindness. Thank you so much! :)

I don't know what happened between you two or what kind of abuse, but it's not right. What you are feeling with feeling guilty it's a vicious cycle that needed to be broken. He says he'll change and what not, but what if one day he snaps or he is only saying those things to get you back and winds up starting the abuse all over again? Men or people who abuse others know how to reel you in at first and yes it's hard after leaving him after so long. Seven years is a very long time, but look at it this way now you can focus on yourself, you can find a person who loves you and will treat you like the princess you are. I may have not had a abusive boyfriend, but I had an abusive father and finally letting him out of my life was the hardest thing because people who get abused are used to it. They are used to what they receive by that person and being on their own is scary because they don't know what other people are capable of and they know what that one person is. Any kind of abuse is wrong and I applaud you for leaving him. You are young and beautiful to be treated like crap. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Abuse can lead to destruction and damaging ways that can have you hurt badly or worse killed. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm all ears :)

i don't know the whole story--what happened, how he abused you, etc. but i say no. do not stay with him or get back together with him. there are so many stories of girls staying with abusive boyfriends because they said they would change, and you know what happens to them, right? they usually end up getting killed or physically hurt very badly. i was in an abusive relationship in high school. he was verbally abusive and i thought that wasn't so bad, so i stayed with him after we graduated. he ended up cheating on me and when i confronted him about it, he called me a crazy bitch and threw me across the room. i left his house as fast as i could and never spoke to him again. it scared the hell out of me. ever since then i promised myself that i would never, ever get myself into a relationship like that ever again. and if my relationship ever turned into something like that, i would get out of it--no matter what my heart was saying.

i promise you, this relationship is not worth it. you will find someone that would never in a million years dream of hurting you. this pain you're feeling right now, from losing him, it'll all be worth it when you meet him.

Don't get back with him. If he has abused you in the past, then what is to stop him from doing it again? No matter how much you love him, you don't deserve abuse. No one does. Don't stand for it, and be strong.

I really do admire you for having the courage to do that, to end the relationship. The world needs more people like you.

Trust me, everything he is saying right now about wanting to change and all of that is nothing more than a lie. He's trying to guilt trip you and manipulate you into going back to him, it's a common thing for abusers to do when their victim leaves them. I know how you feel, I've been in a mentally abusive relationship before. After I broke up with her, I eventually went back to her thinking she was serious when she said she would change. She wasn't and she didn't. I know how you feel in loving someone enough to risk your safety for them but please, don't make the same mistake I did. I know this is not what you wish to hear but your boyfriend will never change, leaving him was the best decision you could have made. No matter how much you love him, you need to continue reminding yourself of what kind of person he really is.

I know how much it hurts and how confused you must be right now, but you have to keep telling yourself that this was the right thing. You just need to remind yourself of that and someday, you'll believe it. You may never stop wanting to go back to him, but you'll gain the strength to know it's better for you to stay away. Leaving an abusive relationship is always a hard thing to do, especially when someone has been in one for as long as you were. I understand why you stayed, love can make people do crazy things. But there comes a point when we all realize enough is enough, and I think you've reached that point.

If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always message me. There's an old saying that says time will heal wounds, and I think that's correct for this situation you're in. It hurts now but as time goes on, you'll find yourself healing and being able to move on from him.

@ I feel insane
As you've probably seen in my previous replies, it's such a complicated situation for me. At first I believed I deserved it all, but as time went on I knew I didn't. As I said in a previous reply, I put a lot of effort into the relationship and it hurts me inside to do this to him but I've really had enough of it but at the same time I'm scared. He was my first everything so it makes it a little harder I guess. But just like the others, you're right. I just need to get let it all soak in and hopefully get over it and become a better person. Thank you! :)

I think if you feel relief for leaving him, even in the slightest, you made the right choice. Relief is not an emotion you should be feeling if you're ending a good relationship. And it shouldn't take 7 years for a guy, or anyone for that matter, to realize that treating someone like shit isn't right.
I've never been in a relationship before, but I would assume that confusion and discomfort would be expected at first if you've been with a partner for long enough. To add to what others have already said, just take some time, as long as you need, to let everything soak in. You might be more confident in your decision to leave him after you've been away from him for some time.
Hopefully everything will be ok in the end

@ DarkHeartedAngel
Thank you! :) I understand what you mean, I'm scared either way but as others have said, I think leaving him for good might just be the best thing for me.

@ Ashlin RAWR! :3
Aw, it only took me 7 years to do it. but thank you! :)

You go. The world needs more strong women that will stand up to people. Dont ever take him back. You are beautiful no matter what, and you are just fine without him.

First off let me say that I'm proud of you for calling the whole thing off. Next, no you don't take him back. Abusive partners say that they are sorry and that they'll change, but they don't. And while it might seem hard in the beginning this is what's best for you.

@ alexander bernadotte

@ Tholomew Plague

@ Gansey.
I understand where all 3 of you are coming from, my main concern with it is that I'm scared of leaving him for good but I'm also scared to go back. I've put so much work into the relationship as well as juggling University studies and other things. It seems such a waste to throw away all the hard work. I appreciate your comments, a lot. I may have to do a lot of thinking with it. Thank you! :)

You definitely should not go back to him. You shouldn't have stayed so long to begin with. The second he laid his hands on you, you should have either left or called the cops or something.

Wait for a month, and then think about it again, for now, just peice back together your life. You need actual time away so you know how you really feel. Took me a month away to realise my true feelings, maybe that's what it'll take for you too.

going back to him is not a good idea, even though he says he's sorry, that he'll change, get help, etc. that's how abusers manipulate their former partners into coming back to them and breaking them down further or worse. for your safety, don't go back to him. ignore him as much as you possibly can and if you need to, get a protective order if you feel the need to.

hope this helps. (: