At What Age Does It Become Pathetic You're a Virgin? - Comments

Never feel ashamed of being a virgin. I'm 25, a virgin, I've never even dated, and am very proud of it. I have goals in life and am not allowing anything to interfere or complicate them. Know who you are and be happy with that!

All hail this blog.

Woman that's awesome! What a creep! He wants you and he is being rude!? That's a red flag right there. Also the public place is a red flag too. Thank you for writing this and inspiring a change in the obsessive ideal set in nowadays that everyone should be sexual animals... All the time... Wherever whenever.

If you look at the research couples that live together before they get married are more likely to have abuse included marriages. Also the number of single mothers out there who sadly never got married to their boyfriends is huge! Those are broken families. I learned this in Sociology of families and it really made me think about the family structures society encourages and the ones that are imposed because of the ideals constantly thrown on us.

Anyways thanks for sharing! Don't bend your good beliefs! All the best!

Amen. This is what I believe. I'm also very pro sex after marriage...for me personally at least. Never would I suggest that's right for everyone's circumstances. I think that at least a couple should be in a committed relationship to take the step of getting that intimate with their partner.

Anyway, I applaud you for your stance. I agree completely.

i always said that i didn't care if i waited until marriage or not. but that i wanted to lose it to someone i really loved/cared about it. i thought i did. but then i realized that we weren't really in love... i thought i loved him but he was just another asshole. there's nothing wrong with waiting. or not waiting. every person is different. :)

@ CannibalsAreZombies @ i saw sparks

i saw sparks:

Personally, I don't view my virginity as this sacred gift that should only be given to the man I marry (I'm anti-marriage, so I may never get married) and I don't have an issue with casual sex, but at the same time, I want my first time to be with someone I care about/am comfortable with instead of something I end up regretting, if that makes any sense.

I'm not anti-marriage, but this basically sums me up. Well said!

AMEN! man I wish more people thought like you. Nowadays everyone's in a rush to lose it like it means shit all.

@ i saw sparks
You know, that's exactly what this guy said, too. "Wow, has no one ever asked before?" Also, he acted completely astounded that I had dated one of the most popular guys back in high school. As if he thought I was so unappealing, he must be the first person who came along and tried to show me his ding dong. Classily, might I add, because he offered as a mother and her two small children walked by. What even?

The worst part is that with each passing year, even girls start to question what is wrong with me, and I must hate sex.

@ CannibalsAreZombies

I totally get what you mean about the double standard. If a guy happens to be a virgin at an older age, he's generally "a good Christian/Jewish/Muslim/religious boy" and girls should want to be with him, but if a girl is a little older and still a virgin, it's not seen as an appealing trait to guys because the girl's not experienced. I've heard so many hip-hop songs that diss girls who are virgins/are inexperienced because they "don't know how to please a man"

I do wish that choosing to stay a virgin past high school was more of a socially acceptable thing and that more people were open about discussing it instead of making it out to be this awkward thing like you're a freak or can't get a guy just because you don't want to have sex at this point in your life.

Personally, I don't view my virginity as this sacred gift that should only be given to the man I marry (I'm anti-marriage, so I may never get married) and I don't have an issue with casual sex, but at the same time, I want my first time to be with someone I care about/am comfortable with instead of something I end up regretting, if that makes any sense.

@ Formaldehyde.

@ Haylie Jaed

@ i saw sparks

I think the biggest thing that really stinks is the whole gender thing. At least with the people I know, if a guy is a virgin they're like, "omg, he's such a great guy for waiting." Why? Because that's how it should be. But a lot of males don't feel that way about females, and sometimes even when they do, they're like, "This is great, I'm going to be her first."

However, and this may just be me, even when in a committed relationship I don't leave it up for debate. I'm not ready, and I'm not going to rush into things. I'm not going to feel guilty about that, either. I'm so glad no one commented calling me a prude. .-.

I totally agree. Why lose something so valuable (that you'll never get back) to some person you've only been seeing for a while? I'm not giving up my virginity until I'm good and ready, and have known the guy longer than 2 years. I want to be married, but I can go with engaged as well.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am in the same boat as you and I almost feel ashamed to call myself a virgin nowadays. Everything seems to revolve around sex and that it such a sad realisation. Though the fact I'm a virgin is more to do with my mental state, what with me not wanting people to touch me due to me being so repulsive blah blah blah, when I do have sex, I want it to be with somebody I trust and love. People call me a romantic fool and that "things don't work out that way", but I'm willing to hold off until I meet that someone. Now I'm rambling...

Thank you for writing this blog!

YES. You go girl!!

All of my friends are in a rush to lose their virginity (as crazy as that sounds), and none of them can understand why it doesn't matter to me. I'm 15 years old, and while I don't plan on being a virgin forever, when I lose it, I want it to be with a person who actually means something to me, not an old high-school boyfriend. I have plenty of time to do stuff like that. I don't think there's a particularly pathetic age to be a virgin at all, as long as you like who you are.

I'm turning 24 next month, and I'm still a virgin. And as I'm an open book when people ask me questions, I've never been afraid to tell people I am - but last year, a 17-year-old male co-worker asked if I was, and called me a freak because of it.

It made me feel low for all of two minutes - and then I decided I didn't care, because it's my body, it's my decision, and I haven't found the right guy.

I'm also not ashamed to admit that at 24, I haven't even been kissed. It's not that the entire male population is repulsed by me or anything - I've had a number of guys ask me out - but I usually turn them down. My first (and only) relationship was when I was sixteen. He was my co-worker, he pestered me until I said yes, and we lasted all of three weeks. I never let him kiss me because, honestly, he kind of scared me. He had some temper issues.

Sometimes I get down about my complete lack of experience, but I always come back from that. I wouldn't be who I am today if my life had been different, and I like who I am.

I'm 18, still a virgin. In one way I feel pressured by myself because I kind of want to have a boyfriend and all to experience that but then again, nowadays so many people loose it at 13 yrs of age and I find it kind of cool when some people can hold on to it, but even despite that I think in my opinion, that I dont wanna be a 40-year old virgin and even after seeing that movie definitely not haha

I'm so glad that you were so open about posting this because it's something that's hardly ever addressed.

I'm 23, in a committed relationship, and I'm still a virgin. I wouldn't say that I'm saving myself for marriage or due to religious purposes or anything like that, but I know that I'm just not ready for that right now. I felt a ton of pressure with my high school boyfriend to have sex because he was a little older and also a virgin, but it never felt right, so I couldn't do it. College was even worse because everyone is supposed to be having sex all the time in college, and a lot of the guys that I was involved with expected me to do them just because without even being in a relationship or anything (nothing wrong with casual sex, but I didn't exactly want my first time to be with one of the guys I worked with who would tell everybody else about it and have all that gossip drama bullshit ).

There's been so many times that I've just wanted to do it and get it over with because I'm the only person I know irl who is still a virgin, but I'm happy with my life now and I feel like when the right time comes, I'll know.

I had the same problem!!!

I was a twenty year old virgin. It wasn't because of religion, it was due to not finding the right person.

I felt so weird and that I absolutely had to lose it before people started to think I was weird but at the same time thought twenty years of being a virgin shouldn't be thrown away on some loser.

I almost lost it twice and both times the guys ended up just being assholes and just wanted to be with a virgin.

Even my friends started to look at me with pity, like "it'll happen for you Sara, just wait, you can be as happy as I am " I felt like they were treating me like a little girl, like I wasn't even an adult yet because I hadn't lost it. It was like my virginty was some weird, opposite scarlet letter. I know it's wrong to think this but everyone of the guys my little high school friend group lost it too ended up breaking their hearts.

I'm marrying the guy I lost it too right after my birthday this coming july at the age of 23. I waited and even though I felt so weird and lost about being a virgin so long. I'm glad I did. I thought after I lost it I'd feel like a completely different woman. And guess what? I didn't I was still the same exact person I always was. There was no profound moment of feeling like I was normal.

Wait or don't, it doesn't matter and it is no one else's business! Especially some creepy guys!

@ notoriety
It's the same reasoning for me as well, and this was the first time I really felt that "pressure". Usually guys back off, but this one was determined to show me how much of a "child" I was being.

What you do with your body is your own decision, and frankly, it's no one else's business. I think it's great that you're waiting :)

Oh, yay, we had the same answer. Julia Child was a virgin into her 40s.

This blog just made me feel so much better. I am a virgin and I'm a nineteen year old freshman in college who has not done a lot with a guy because if I do anything with a guy I have to be 100% comfortable with him and yeah I do want to wait for marriage to give myself way. Mine is more of a religious view as well as a personal decision, but I am so proud of you for not giving in and sticking to your guns. I think it is getting harder and harder to do that these days and I am so happy that there are still people out there who are fighting the same fight.