Rape Humor and Disrespect. *Possible Trigger Warning* - Comments

@ Ailurophile
Thanks. It still gets to me sometimes, but mostly, I try to use what I've gone through to help others who maybe aren't handling it very well.

I think the worst thing about those rape stories is when the writer is confronted about it and asked to maybe edit their work a bit but instead of being understand, they just laugh it off and say rape isn't even a bad thing. How about no.

@ Brian Haner Jr
Oh damn, that's really low for a person to use your rape as a means of mocking. I would have punched her too...

I also hate rape stories, where the victim just magically starts liking it. No, just no.

Thanks for sharing your experience, stay strong <3

I once had a "discussion" with this girl when I was in high school about this issue, and not just the joking, but the fact that male rape victims are never taken seriously, or aided like women are. Her argument was that men that are raped usually deserve it because they've some how wronged females, or they're "just fags." I was appalled she could think, let alone say such things. A man being raped is just as serious as a woman being raped, and sometimes I think it's worse.

I was raped when I was young, I don't like the jokes, but sometimes I think people just let their ignorance run wild, they literally don't understand that what they say and/or joke about can be damaging. I would, however, take a joke about rape over an insult about it any day of the year. I never used to tell anyone through fear they'd judge me on it, and so when I did finally tell someone, I thought it would help, that it would be something kept between us. We were close friends, or so I thought, but like most high school friendships, it fell apart. She ended up spreading it around and using it to belittle me and as a "lets point and laugh" thing between her and her new group of populars. Insulting me got her "in" with the popular crowd. When I confronted her about it, she just laughed in my face and at the top of her lungs in front of the whole class, called out "I don't know why you're so upset, it's the only sex you'll ever have. No one would want to fuck you, he'd have to be desperate. Was he drunk, or did you make it all up so we wouldn't think you were so pathetic?" Understandably, I think at least, I punched her and split her lip and gave her a nose bleed, but I never got over it. Thankfully we ended up moving state at the end of that year so I never had to look at her or her stupid friends again, but it still hurts even now.

Rape is always serious, but sadly people won't get that or respect that unless it's happened to them or someone close to them. It's the same with people who use it in their writing but laugh it off with "He wanted it/he enjoyed it," even when they themselves have written in him constantly saying "No. Stop." Rape will never be taken seriously with people like that treating it like it's nothing of import, nothing of the trauma it is.

@ Queen In The North
I agree with you that everyone copes with things differently. Thanks for your input!

@ Zhang Yixing;
Exactly. Although most critics that I read about rape humor is more in the shaming the victim type, I think joking about it in general is disrespectful and like you said takes away the severity of the situation or normalise it. Stay strong and thanks for your input.

I was raped when I was 16 - making jokes about a serious situation makes it hard for people take it seriously. The reason people use it as a joke now is because they weren't taught the severity - joking about it isn't right in my opinion.

I've had people joke about it in front of me, and when I tell them I'm not comfortable with it - they tell me "Oh you're over reacting, it's just a joke,"

Is my rape a joke? Was my body being violated a joke? Then I get really defensive, and called "crazy", "drama queen" and "attention seeker" because I want people to be aware of realities of rape. It's been six years almost. In august it will be. I am still not over it, and I never will be. So, people need to think before they speak because while you shouldn't censor everything you say joking about topic like rape or any kind of sexual assault is just horrible and sick.

I am a rape victim, but this doesnt bother me. I make jokes out of bad situations i'v gone thru in order to cope. It's different for everybody.

@ HopelessHaures
I'm really sorry that happened to you. Never think you're overreacting or being too sensitive. People poking fun at this is not acceptable.

@ ladyschrei
At the time that I wrote this blog, I was contemplating what to do. I just commented how it really isn't something funny. They haven't written anything back. Now I'm contemplating wether to leave it like that, futher reason why they wrote was disrespectful or simply erase their comments.

This really hits me.
The jokes hurt, sometimes I think I'm too sensitive but even the smallest joke brings it all back. Then it just makes me feel like, someone would think what happened to me was funny. Crazy I know, but when someone cracks those jokes I just immediately stray away. I know then they would never understand because they belittled it.

I actually dated a guy back about a year ago. I really liked him, as much as I can. (It's hard to explain). But one day I'm hanging with him and his friends and they start looking up rape jokes on Google. I had never heard of something like that being on the Internet. He didn't know I was raped, and I'm really glad he didn't. I couldn't handle it, I ran out of his house and cried as I drove home. I never talked to him again, I just shut him out. He hates me now but honestly I don't care.

I've had people crack jokes about my rape and honestly it tears me down. It makes me feel so weak, that something they consider to be a joke to have scarred me for life.

I just can't handle people belittling what I've went through and what so many other people have went through. It's completely ignorant and makes me dislike the person strongly.

Just curious, did you say anything to the guys who made the jokes on your status?

@ dyke
Exactly. "Think before your speak (or write in this case)" should be applied in all things in life especially issues like this. It pisses me off how most people can't take 5 seconds and think about how their comments could affect other people.

I hate how people don't care unless it directly involves them, it's so disappointing. I know that sometimes if things don't affect you you won't really have that much to say about them or you won't feel overly some way about them (like hurricanes or tornadoes on the other side of the country or across the world) but at least some respect would be nice. I hate that it really has to affect some people to get their attention and have them take it seriously.