I'm sorry to be blunt, but I think you are a little jaded when it comes to thinking what you were involved with wasn't an abusive relationship. Because based on what you've just said, you were.
It might be hard to come to terms with, but there should be no reason, excuse etc. for violence in a relationship. I dunno, maybe because you were in a bad place and he lifted you up at times, you try to reason away the negatives and you over-romanticize what you had with him. It's easy to look back and only see the good, because people naturally don't want to be reminded of the bad. I'm not judging you for staying when he did hurt you... because you loved him and you wanted to believe it was just because of the drugs and because he was angry or because of something you did.
But there's two types of guys: one that will hit a woman and one that won't. Regardless of the reasons or provocations, either the guy will be able to control himself and take his anger out on something else, or better yet walk away. Or he'll hurt someone he supposedly loves.
You'll believe what you want to, of course. But I think with time, once you get out into the world and get older, you'll realise that wasn't the best time of your life. It might seem so now, but I really believe you'll have so many better periods of your life that will show you what being truly happy is really like.
It might be hard to come to terms with, but there should be no reason, excuse etc. for violence in a relationship. I dunno, maybe because you were in a bad place and he lifted you up at times, you try to reason away the negatives and you over-romanticize what you had with him. It's easy to look back and only see the good, because people naturally don't want to be reminded of the bad. I'm not judging you for staying when he did hurt you... because you loved him and you wanted to believe it was just because of the drugs and because he was angry or because of something you did.
But there's two types of guys: one that will hit a woman and one that won't. Regardless of the reasons or provocations, either the guy will be able to control himself and take his anger out on something else, or better yet walk away. Or he'll hurt someone he supposedly loves.
You'll believe what you want to, of course. But I think with time, once you get out into the world and get older, you'll realise that wasn't the best time of your life. It might seem so now, but I really believe you'll have so many better periods of your life that will show you what being truly happy is really like.