Dealing With PTSD. - Comments

Acknowledging that he is having difficulties, and thus apologising for outbursts is a great step in the right direction. A lot of soldiers suffering from PTSD won't admit that there's anything wrong, and they won't seek help - seeking help often looks like showing weakness to them and they feel no one will understand. So the fact that he's apologising and is looking for help, and looking now instead of waiting until it gets much worse, is great.

Continue supporting him as you are and when the time comes to actually think seriously about having children, you'll both be better equipped to deal with everything that will entail. Just know that the recovering from PTSD can be and most likely will be, a very long and difficult one.

I wish you both the very best of luck with this! And I hope you both get the help and support you both need. If you ever need someone to talk to about this(or anything really) in the future, feel free to send me a message :)

@ Brian Haner Jr
He is calling the VA today. I will say that even though he wasn't the most pleasant person the other night, he has gone above and beyond to really apologize for it. (Which I wasn't asking for.) I got some really pretty roses when I woke up and some IHOP.

I think he just sees that it isn't a healthy way to live, especially if we want to bring children into the world.

Maybe try the VA? If that's who he'll go through, they might be able to help you, or help you find someone that can help. Online help groups always seem shady to me, there's no proof they actually know what they're talking about. At least if it's through the VA, the person they put you onto will have experience with PTSD and how to deal with the symptoms.

But knowing that you're not going to up and leave him will help him a lot more than you think :)

@ Brian Haner Jr
Thank you.

I know I'm going to need someone to talk to just as much as him. I've been looking up places that I can look into or even online "help" groups. I knew that with everything he had gone through before we started saying that it could be something might deal with. Just for now I need him to know I won't be going anywhere.

As someone who's watching their father go through PTSD(24 years in the Navy) I can understand how scary it can be, and how sometimes you feel like there is nothing you can do. It is scary, and it does hurt. I commend you for standing by him because even though he screams and tells you to leave, he's afraid too. The last thing he needs is for you to walk out on him, so I'm proud of you for sticking through it.

It's a difficult thing to go through - my mum is struggling with it(my nan is struggling with my pop, who fought in the Vietnam war) and it can destroy not only your relationship, but you as a person. I think for you, the best thing you can do, is listen when he's ready to talk and continue being there for him. Also, get some help for you. PTSD isn't just effecting him, it's effecting you too. So get yourself some help, have someone professional to talk to and ask for some guidance, for help so that you can learn to look for triggers and thus know what to avoid.

I'm not sure how it works in America, but if he does get help, there should be some way for you to get help through the same agency - there's no point helping him if you don't know how to deal with the symptoms. I hope that makes sense.

Basically, don't just focus on him, YOU need to have support too so that you can help him when they're not there. And they're not going to be there 24/7, you are. Think of it as a team effort. It's going to take a lot of time and a lot of understanding. Chances are he might get worse and you'll need to be ready for that. And remember, it's not you, not really. Be strong, be understanding and stand by him.

I really hope you both get the help you both need for this