Opinions - Can I Get Some Help? - Comments

This sounds like an amazing premise so far! I would love to help you hash it out, I understand being stuck on something that you know has the potential to be great..I'm going through it myself right now.. :)

@ gotta be you
Thanks for the tips on the summary. :)

And I've been writing lyrics for a long time now, so I can usually just grab a feeling and go. I've written a few actually in my character's POV, too. A lot of the lyrics in my co-write I Wanna Be Somebody are original, too.

You used so much twice in succession and the which after every isn't needed.

its no wonder there's a such a rise in mental illness
It should be it's and there's shouldn't be an a after there's because when you put it this way: it is no wonder there is a such a rise in mental illness. The a is just awkward in the sentence. Other than that, after illness should be a period.

Yeah, that alone is enough to make drive anyone insane...
Perhaps a period would be better than an ellipsis because the latter is used to omit something from the sentence.

you don't choose music, music chooses you.
There can be a semicolon or a period instead of a comma because these two clauses are independent so you can choose not to use a coordinating conjunction like for to connect them.

We were carefree, because we had all our shit together, we had a plan, right?
I think the comma after together is unnecessary because "we had a plan, right?" is already a sentence and the part before it is also a sentence.

You said that the story is a little bit personal so I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a little harsh but the summary didn't draw me in. It's a little bland and a bit confusing to me.

Beyond that, I'm really amazed that you're going to use original lyrics because that's pretty hard to do! I can barely make a verse when my teachers made us compose our own lyrics for a project. So kudos to you for creating your own and making it work in your story! Good luck in writing it!