Can You Guys Come and Dr. Phil for Me Please? - Comments

I just saw this! I'm not sure if you need advice anymore but here goes!

I've had a situation where one of my closest friends repeatedly let me down. Even when others thought she completely flaky, I forgave her each time because at that point in life, she knew more about me than most people. She was someone I could confide in.

A few years into knowing her, she broke one of the biggest promises she made, and I hated her for it. We didn't talk for a while, but we shared some of the same friends and slowly, she drifted back into my life. I found it extremely difficult to cut ties with someone who knew so much about me.

She's matured now and we're ok. We're friends again, but I'm cautious, and to this day, she's still not someone I would drop everything in a heartbeat for the way I would with other friends.

I guess the moral of my story is to listen to your gut (mine told me early on she wasn't reliable) and consider why your friends all feel a certain way about her. Currently, I'm happy this girl is still my friend since she did quite a bit of growing up, but for a while it was a large mess. And when she does inconsiderate things, I can't help but see bits of her old self resurface. She had really brought me down emotionally, and I can't say it was worth it.

in short: we're cool now, but it was a struggle I wouldn't repeat. I hope that helps! PS congrats on the internship!

@ colibri
i'm sorry that happened to you that horribly manipulative and terrible. :c
but i'm definitely recognizing /a lot/ of those feelings too, and so can say i know how you feel.

yeah sometimes it's like i'm so caught up in all the good memories and i'm so good at pushing back all the bad ones, when i really shouldn't. hopefully we both make better friends that make us feel the way friends are supposed to! c:

@ aubree james.
i don't know :o
and i would but i'm probably not going to be back in waterloo until around the end of the month D: but omg we definitely need a williams cake date

GURL! Why don't we ever hang out when we're in Waterloo?! We both have some dick-like friends I'd probably move on from her. There's no point in sticking around with negative people, who hurt you. Especially when they're aware of it. You need people who support you, not drag you down.

I broke my ankle on a trip, so I'm currently bouncing around Waterloo and the Newmarket area if you want some coffee.

OTHERWISE WE'RE MAKING A WILLIAM'S DATE WITH CAKE FOR SEPTEMBER. IT'S HAPPENING

hi!

Throughout my childhood I had a very similar friend. One time she pulled my pants down in front of a playground full of kids and was angry with me for about two months because I left her alone on the playground and walked home. I called HER crying and apologising. Imagine that phone call. "I'M SO SORRY, *loud, ugly sobbing* I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS WHEN YOU PULLED MY PANTS DOWN, I WAS EMBARRASSED." What a weird situation to be in. I would be sick for weeks until Her Royal and Supreme Highness deigned to forgive ME, the lowly peasant.

She had this power that made me feel like the smallest person in the world if she was mad at me and the brightest person in her life if she was happy with me. It was emotionally abusive. People who manipulate like that tend to stay the same. They tend not to have any respect for other people, either.

Memories are powerful and can overwhelm decisions like this. There are a lot of emotions involved. Take care of yourself and respect yourself at the end of the day. It took me a very long time to get to this current stage of resentment. There were all kinds of messes before that. A lot of messages about how she made me feel, the good memories and the bad. I think the next stage will be acceptance. It happens when you move on in life and have cemented better friendships (stronger, equal). I'm not yet there because I am petty and constantly anxious.

An internship in Toronto? That sounds like a really adult thing. Adulting pretty hard over there. Congratulations. :)

Aw boo that sounds like a p unequal friendship where she was calling the shots. :-(

ngl I'm not a very spiritual person even though my grandma is a lowkey kind of practising Buddhist but I've been doing lots of like youtube video watching (lol again) and the law of attraction is like a philosophical theory but I really believe it haha. n I think if you remove some of the negativity you make more space for good things :-) (but also I don't want to sound like those people who really believe in astrological signs and stuff (except when it suits me, in which case then I totally believe in it ))

BUT YEAH you sound like a woman with a plan and I like the sound of giving equal effort.

I hope I did an okay job at Dr. Phil-ing N I HOPE YOU HAVE LOTS OF REALLY GOOD THINGS COME THROUGH YOUR LIFE AND NICE BALANCED FRIENDSHIPS!! ♥♥♥

P.S. Good luck @ your internship! Toronto sounds like lots of fun :-)))

@ lungsmoke
omg hi

emotionally it has been super taxing and idk, like, it's not an easy friendship. it used to be, but then it constantly grew into a fear of my fucking something up and then her disappearing again. like i have friends that i see here and there that i'm close with, but that's def not the case here.

ugh i know it's like, the right thing to do ahaha, it's definitely not cold-bitch sounding at all. it's sounding like everyone in my life that has any sort of reason, which is a good thing. i think i'm just gonna leave it. not text her or anything. i'm not putting effort into something that she isn't putting effort back into.

thank you! for reading this and giving me the push that i needed and everything ahaha, sending you all the best vibes~

omg hello long time no see Aaaaaaaand I'm gonna agree with your friends because (and like. obviously I don't know shit about her side of it or anything) it seems like you're the one who's being like Emotionally Devastated and she's kind of like not (except for when she sent the text message I guess??). And I feel like it's not good for the soul (lol) to be put through so much emotional duress, y'know?

idk. I think it's good to know that you want to dive back in, and also that you know it's really hard. And tbh I feel like if she was a good friend to you, the friendship should be easy. Long distance but you can still pick up whenever and drop off whenever, instead of cutting off and hurting.

GURL idk I think a lot about the law of attraction and minimalism and cutting people off who make you sad, or don't make you feel good about yourself, and I'm gonna sound like a cold bitch but I feel like you should cut her off and be positive and all the good people and positive vibes will come into your life. Obviously it's ultimately your call but I think you should listen to your friends and boyf because they're usually good at seeing bad vibes from people when you yourself can't.

Hope it all works out