How Do You Feel About Feminism (or Anti-Feminists?) - Comments

Im extremely anti modern feminism. I was told by fellow women that when I was raped, I deserved it because I was "brainwashed" by the patriarchy. They told me I should hate all men because of what happened to me, when in general it was just an unhinged asshole that did that - and I've grown from it and realize that it was not the worst experience of my life. I get told to die often, and funnily enough the only one's supportive of me when I was raped, were my male friends - all my female feminist friends went on a witch hunt about 'all men'. It has turned me off completely. Also; the idea that I have no idea of what feminism means, offends me greatly. I know what it MEANT - it is no longer that. This is all just my opinion thought, and I refuse to talk to most people on this website about it because it always ends in me having to stop myself from speaking my mind or I'll get banned. I honestly dont mind feminist of the modern day, so long as they don't try to tell people what I think and feel.

I get that argument about 'stem' fields alot too, and I just ignore it now. I studied in a STEM field and I was welcomed with open arms and did very well for myself and have a bright future ahead in that field if I ever get the time to go back to it. I'm of the firm belief that life is what you make of it, and spending your time on tumblr is not living. Also, wish they'd campaign a bit more for the tortured girls in africa and such places rather than complaining about how we make less - I make more than my male counterparts and got given a manager position with limited experience because I was a female and was deemed more 'trustworthy' because of that.

Sorry if this sounds overly aggressive, it's just how I talk/write unfortunately - I come in peace, hahaha <3

I'm pro feminism as in having the same rights. I am against making this a women-are-better movement with very triggered loud women who don't understand the whole point of feminism being; EQUALITY.

Plus we must keep sight that women and men are different, we are equal, but different. And thats ok.

@ princess;
lena dunham is like, classic white feminism to me, especially with the really gross incident that happened where odell didn't talk to her and she just... created this entire conversation in her head... and shared that conversation... implicating him... even though he literally didn't say anything to her
idk it was just really weird to me

but i definitely agree! i've actually been reading a lot of bell hooks lately and it seems impossible not to see how all of these identities intersect with each other in a cultural sense, and how they build off of each other and so on.

@ zeref
(aww so cool!)

that kind of thing "omg triggered" kind of just makes me roll my eyes, but the whole pick up artist type movement just grosses me out on another level. bah.
and yeah, but, at least conversation helps! i feel like i'm constantly learning, and i feel like people are being a lot of open to conversation as of late too, which is a start!

@ tormentor!!!
ah no! no fighting here! i definitely am not one of those people that like debating anyways, ahaha. but oh man, i did not know about that, and that's awful. i'm glad that those reports were leaked (not glad that it happened of course) and it seems awful, as someone who as you can tell has a lot of feelings about sexual assault, that people would ignore this based on religion. those women were assaulted and i'm sure they don't care. :c

i'm not sure if you're someone who believes in gender fluidity, but i definitely agree with you how a lot of feminism can focus so much on gender that it really brings the problematic light out of it, and excludes a lot of people! and like you end off with, i definitely think driving people away is not the answer. i think without open and honest communication, it's only going to make the problems worse!

but yeah, i guess i'd be called a liberal type feminist because the social issues are what really matter for me. for me, at least, i like to think the idea of education helps with that kind of thing? like the idea of what consent is, when i've talked to some guys, is just so blurry to them (like that military guy i mentioned) when it comes to drinking, or coersion, or other things like that what consent actually is or how they think some things that make me super uncomfortable (ie. grabbing me and dragging me away) seem harmless to them because they just don't think of it that way. i think conversation and education helps people see things differently? i could just be a hopeless romantic in that point tho ahaha.

thanks again for replying! i hope this isn't like, upsetting to you or anything. i really appreciate the conversation! c:

Okay, thanks... I just don't want to fight with anybody or anything like that but I'll just give you my reasoning. What triggered it was the Cologne rape incident in Germany - over a thousand women were sexually assaulted but feminists refused to say anything about it because it was Muslims who did it. Then the house of cards came crashing down for me...

Feminists never call out anyone besides "cis white males," and all they really seem to do is censor people and drive a wedge between the sexes. Not each and every feminist, like you seem to not be like that at all, but as an over all movement that's what they tend to end up doing.

But most importantly, I came to realize that the whole basis feminism stands on is a sham. It's based on the idea that women are oppressed - we're not. In the west, at least. We have the same rights as any man (wage gap is a myth - Google it!), and in fact we actually have more (such as the fact that we can get an abortion while men can't choose whether they want to have a child after impregnation, child custody issues, child support, etc.)

So after I realized we weren't oppressed...that was it for me. The whole idea of feminism just seemed totally meaningless. I agree that there are sexist social issues at times, but what is the solution to that? Either we can stop social sexism by legislation, which would be violating people's rights, or we can put up with dealing with sexist dudes every once in a while.

I prefer the latter. I would much rather live in a world where people are free to say and do what they want than a world where everyone is censored and limited by political correctness (or anything else). I'm still against porn, and a lot of men still seem offputting to me, but I think feminism actually makes men worse.

Women constantly hating men and shitting on them drives men away from us and into isolation where all they do is jerk off to porn and shit, which makes them misogynistic in the first place. I think everybody needs to relax and just realize we're all people. We're human, we make mistakes, and just because we're a different gender doesn't mean we can't be understanding of one another

(Yes, it is!)

I feel like lots of subreddits have at least a handful of "haha sjw triggered" posts. I've seen it on /r/thathappened and /r/quityourbullshit, for example.

I hope, at least in the near future, the white feminism won't be what the media focuses on, but it's a serious struggle at this point.

I identify strongly as a feminist. But a lot of modern/mainstream feminism lacks intersection,especially when it comes to class, gender fluidity, and race. Feminist is seen in modern media a thing for rich (or securely cruising through middle class), cisgendered, heterosexual [white] women who feel empowered by showing their breast, screaming about their sex lives, and making it through life with their just as monotone and privileged gal pals (Lena Dunham's Girls can ring a strong bell for this). Like, yes, this is an aspect of feminism, but only a small corner of it. My feminism is very inclusive and fluid that can correlate to many subjects. Like acknowledging that both the 'slut' and 'prude' tropes are valid and can be empowering for women or even how police violence against black people is, in fact, a feminist issue for black men are seen as hypermasculine while black women are seen as a group of people who must forgo their race for feminist issues or forgo their gender for race issues as if we don't face the level of sexism we deal with because of our race or we deal with the level of racism we deal with because of our gender. Then things become even deeper once sexuality and the ever-changing identities of gender come in.

I could ramble for days but lol yeah. That's the surface for me.

@ aliens.
yeah! like i said, i like intersectional feminism that doesn't seem to be as representative of feminism as a whole, but respect is what it drives down to for me as well.

@ zeref
(is that fairy tail?)
and no problem! made sense to me! i don't really see a problem with guys calling themselves feminists personally but of course that's up to you! reddit can definitely be a super nasty place (omg the entire red pill thing is just... smh) but it's true! feminism has so many branches and it sucks that it's treated as this monolith identity (like so many things) but you can't win them all c:

@ Queen of the Clouds
i think the reason a lot people are iffy about egalitarian movements is because they seem to be represented (idk again i'm not too educated about it) by people who fall under the ideology that men and women are equally disadvantaged in society? and it kind of rings with that whole #AllLivesMatter type movement, while feminism (that i subscribe to at least) is like hey, both genders are at a disadvantage in some ways, but women more than men

@ tormentor!!!
hey! again, like i mentioned, i am very open and interested in learning new perspectives, so if you do want to share anything you can feel free! im not going to jump down your throat or anything c: are any of the reasons i mentioned contributive to why? (if you don't want to say anything further, of course, you don't have to! just thought i'd open up the conversation!)

i am an anti-feminist [ex-feminist] and that's all i'll say on the subject ;)

A while ago, when I heard the word "feminist" or "feminism", there was a lot of negative things I associated it with. As aliens mentioned below, it's become tainted and mainstream and misunderstood. I used to feel like it was pushing for women being superior, which I hated, but once I learned that it's actually about equality I thought maybe I am one because I will stand for equality for all people, regardless of race, gender, etc. I feel like we need to get rid of the word "feminism" in a way and just refer to it (and other words) as simply equality. Like zeref mentioned, everyone should be wanting equality and justice. That should be the human race's goal.

I consider myself a feminist ally, but have more recently taken on the broader term of activist.

The only reason I say ally is because I feel, as a man, I cannot speak about issues women face. I do not mean to say any man claiming to be a feminist shouldn't do so. I, personally, just would not feel comfortable calling myself a 'feminist'.

I browse Reddit enough that I've seen lots of anti-feminists and jokes about feminists, and I have always felt that such humor is very cheap, and not funny.

Of course, there are also the 'SJW stereotypes', which, indeed, have labeled all feminists as "too politically correct" or, "too sensitive", and mostly, stereotyping is awful, but I feel as though white feminists have really created a barrier that's made it difficult for people to realize why feminism is a crucial movement for some women.

Truthfully, I'm very unsure if this made any sense to you, but I'm only trying to say that I think, feminist or not, a common goal of equality and justice should be established by now.

I, and a lot of my friends, identify as feminists. We don't like what 'mainstream' feminism has become, which is only caring about women showing their breasts without consequence and dissing trans women. What we believe in is everyone becoming equal. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. What most people don't understand is feminism isn't just dressing how you want, it's so much more than that. I feel like it's respect, being treated like you aren't property or a toy, you know? (Obviously there's more than that, but my mind is kinda fried and I can't really go into more detail atm.)

Unfortunately, the word 'feminist' is so tainted that you're going to get shit for being one no matter what. It's sad to see what it has become, but as long as you don't follow the simplistic (and more than a little hateful) mainstream version, I think you're good.