I Need My Own Place - Comments

@ Michael Westen
You're welcome! I know it sucks, but you'll get through this some way or another! Just stay positive and if things can't change, than make a plan to leave and use that as your fuel to keep you going. Maybe you can make a plan to move and be with your friend after a year. I know it sounds silly, but that thought that "this is only temporary" can help get you through. Or maybe you'll get a promotion at work or save up enough to get your own place. You never know what will happen, so stay strong! <3 <3

@ Ghoul Scouts
I'm definitely not moving to that city, so you don't have to worry.

And you would think I'd have some peace of mind from trying to change it but it just makes me more frustrated.

Thanks If only I didn't live in Maine!

@ VixL
Thank you so much for the feedback.

I actually have tried to talk to her before, and she does have a TV in her room, but she doesn't budge on anything other than saying that "we're okay" so I never try to talk to her about it anymore because it doesn't change anything.

I've actually heard her on the phone saying she wants to get like a screen or something to put around my bed... Not only will that not work, it also just makes me feel like shit because it's like she wants to just cover the problem up without fixing it.

And I've talked to her before about her coming and going late at night but again it doesn't change anything - she insists she's being quiet, and then starts to cry because this is her house...

And man do I really wish right now that I did live in Virginia. I live all the way up in Maine and it's just shit. One of my friends keeps trying to convince me to move two hours north and quit my job here but like, I just got this job, I need it for at least a year to look good on applications, and I really don't think she realizes how much effort goes into keeping up a place.

But yeah thanks for the support

Don't move to a bad area. Due to certain circumstances, I ended up in a bad area and I hate it. I am so anxious and uncomfortable all the time. Living in a bad town/city/neighborhood is just a whole new stress. Plus I don't want anything to happen to you.

I kind of agree with VixL, you have to speak up. And if nothing comes of it, or if she acts childish and creates drama from it....at least you have to piece of mind that you tried and she will be aware of the situation.

I'm sorry you are so uncomfortable and stressed out. If I had the room I would offer my place to you, I really would.

I feel you so much right now. I literally live this everyday lol except I have my own room, so it is a lot easier. But then I had to even fight for that, because my family was going to let me live out of my suitcase and have my little cousin use that as his playroom like he used to 24/7 (because it used to be a computer room before I moved in) if I didn't say anything.

My advice is to SPEAK UP. If it is not realistic for you to move out any time soon, than you need to treat this situation as if you are in a tenant/roommate situation (even though it's family, I know it's difficult). You need to tell your mom straight up that things bother you and carve out yourself some sense of "home" in that house, or else you're going to continue to be immeasurably miserable there.

Tell your mom that you would like it if the living room could be considered as your space. Let her get a tv in her room. And set up time boundaries. If she respects you, then she'll listen. And if she doesn't and it causes a fight, then you just have to reierate that no one would put up with that, and that you are not being unreasonable. How would she like it if you were coming into her room and moving around "quietly" late at night? I doubt that she would.

The fact is, yes she's letting you stay there and it is her apartment. But you're not just staying for a few weeks, which you could possibly just try and bear it. You're staying there until you can get yourself together, so who knows how long that'll take, and you have to carve out some semblence of livability or esle you're going to be driven crazy.

I think you are doing a good job by buying groceries, so it's not like you aren't helping out around the house (if she tries to pull that card). Just be respectful when you address the situation to her and tell her that you can't live like this.

Hopefully, she will understand and make accomadations as necessary.

And if not...do you live in the Virginia area?

I'm looking for roommates that wouldn't mind rooming with a sometimes antisocial introvert with depression and social anxiety problems lol XD

Jk, in all seriousness you need to talk to her for real about this.

Like I said, otherwise you'll be miserable.