Cancer Doesn't Make You the Center of the Universe - Comments

“Family’s Forever” it’s the truest statement out there. Which means, that unlike friends who you can just drift away from over time because you’ve changed, or they changed, or you guys had a friendship ruinning argument, you’re always going to have to deal with your family. Even when they do all the crap I mentioned above lol XD Because you’re connected by blood or ties. Which is a good thing, because no one wants to feel like they are in the world alone. You could be strangers, but if you find our you’re connected by blood or law, you automatically are tied to one another. You’re not alone. And I think that’s probably what you’ve been feeling. Like you are alone. But you aren’t, trust me. You and your mom and dad will get through this argument just like you’ve gotten through the past. They’ll still be there even if you are all hurt right now. It’s good that you are opening up more about how you really feel, because it’s not good to let it sit or else it will explode like it did. I think that you should start telling your family, when the thought first comes to you, how you really feel. Imagine if you would have told them the moment before you decided not to call them, that you wanted them to reach out and contact you more. Like in passing,”Hey, mom we should try to call each other every Sunday”. I think you would have gotten it out in the open, and then if she still didn’t reciprocate than at least you know you tried. Believe me, coming from someone who is also passive and keeps a lot of stuff inside which in turn makes me do passive aggresive things and then blow up when someone does something small like say the word “diner” because I’ve been holding in the fact that I hate eating at diners for three years and thought that the people who are close to me would pick up on it, but didn’t (this is just an example lol XD), isn’t healthy for us or the people who care about us. And I know as dysfunctional as family can get sometimes, as long as the love is still there, it is worth holding onto. And you seem to really still love and care about your mom, so I know you guys will get through this miscommunication mishap. But please be there for her. She needs you, because cancer is a scary thing and it seems like you were her major area of support system for her last battle. So, she’ll need you to win this one, too. Sorry for my long BIble passage post on your page lol I just kind of understand where your head is at and feel deeply about this topic

our mothers are almost the same person... it’s uncanny. i’m adopted and my a-parents are actually quite wonderful, but my biological mother is not. she isn’t a bad person, not by any means, but she is a touch of crazy. she’s bipolar and thinks that she can use that as an excuse for when she’s mean and/or rude to me. and now she has cardiomyopathy and uses that to try and mess with me. like, “the doctor said i have 6 months to live! i’m on the transplant list but i need to lose 50 pounds before i can have surgery... so why don’t you message me every day?” and if i don’t message her once a day, she says that i’m selfish and i don’t care about her. i finally had enough and cut out all contact with her. she gave up her rights to being my mother. so if we are going to have any contact at all, it’s going to be on my terms. (it was a year in february, so it’ll be 2 years since i’ve spoken to her in february 2018.) it’s hard. it really is. i’ve wanted to message her, but i won’t. she said she had 6 months to live over 5 years ago. and she’s still here. (which is good, i don’t want her to die or anything.) but there has been times where she said she was in the hospital and i tried to contact the hospital to send flowers and she wasn’t there. so i don’t know. she always posts on facebook that they’re “eating cheeseburgers” “eating bbq” “eating pizza,” etc. but yet her doctor said she couldn’t eat that stuff for her heart health and that she needed to lose weight... i just find everything so hard to believe and it’s become very hard for me to trust her. anyway, enough about me. i am so sorry that you didn’t have a positive childhood with your parents. everyone deserves to feel love by their parents. and i wish i could change that for you. i hope that this time she will see - life is short. you only get one life and she had better not waste it/let it pass without having that mother/daughter relationship that you deserve. let me know if you need anything or need to talk!

I’m sorry about your mom, girlie. You know I’m here for you. Call or message me on Facebook. Love you ginger cookie

I can relate. My mom NEVER calls me when I'm away. Even when I lived outside our country, I always had to be the one to call her. If I called her crying, homesick, she never comforted me. It's like out of sight, out of mind with her. But if I don't call her for one day? She texts me bitching because I didn't.

She also has bipolar.

I love my mom, but I have realized that I'm basically alone in this world when it comes to blood family. None of them are competent enough to be there for me like some people's families are and like I need.

Sorry I made this about me, and I'm super sorry about your mom's diagnosis. I'll pray for her, and your relationship.

Cancer sucks and I kinda know what you're going through. Seven years or so ago my dad was diagnosed with some form of stomach cancer. instead of calling me he sends a text message. I was pissed about that but blew it off. He got the tumor removed and they had good margins. he didn't have to go through chemo, only needed to take a pill. we talked a lot more and his new wife kept me updated. Then we went back into the cycle of not talking (never had a good relationship with my dad). Then about four years ago i get a text message from my dad saying his cancer is back. I blew up on him. and my mom freaked out yelling at him and it started a huge fight and I stopped talking to him. Come to find out, he lied about the cancer being back. But it's been four years and I haven't talked to him since.

Point is, just because some is sick doesn't excuse how they treated you in the past. My dad never made the effort to talk to me so I stopped caring. I'm not saying you should do the same but I've honestly never been happier.