Relationships: A Dialogue Part I - Comments

  • eraserhead.

    eraserhead. (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    I mean, I feel like they should definitely stop being so apathetic about their ignorance on the matter of, like, females in general, but until then, a lot of them are just gonna be clueless.

    I got really lucky with my boyfriend now because he's super honest and up front about everything and so am I, so our communication is on fucking point, but I think a huge part of it is that he has a really strong mother and a little sister, so he's a little more conscious of what he does and how he is with other females.

    I don't know, man. Boys are weird. And they get even weirder when you try to play the same games that they play.
    January 12th, 2018 at 06:48am
  • divine;

    divine; (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    @ springer dinger.
    Dude, good for you. Cause a lot of people still wouldn't have said anything/been passive about it. But also a good point, I feel like a lot of them just don't know how their actions and/or the things they decide to say can have a major impact on people.

    Like my boyfriend is very candid with me and told me he hooked up with a girl a bit before meeting me and he was all like "I told her I wasn't looking for anything serious" which led him to say the quote in the blog about guys looking for something better and it's like...okay, why not just say that? "I didn't want to hurt her feelings" but like ?!?! telling her you're not looking for anything serious probably didn't make her feel that great either. I gave him so much shit about it lol.

    @ headspace
    And ugh. No one wants to be transparent about their intents/feelings these days and it can lead to so many struggles. Good luck with your situation with that guy, doll.
    January 12th, 2018 at 06:16am
  • headspace

    headspace (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    Dating in this day and age is so strange and wild, I swear. I'm seeing multiple guys (because I'm sick of the games boys play so I'm playing them back lmao), and I told one of them about the other, and he GOT UPSET. But this happened AFTER he told me he was supposed to go on a date with a girl but she cancelled. I was like uhhhhhhh why is it ok for you to date others but I can't? And he was like because I like you and I want you to myself. And I was like B I T C H WHAT. Then that opened up a dialogue about our relationship and now apparently we're inching to exclusivity and IT IS SO STRESSFUL. I just want STRAIGHT ANSWERS BUT I DONT WANNA SCARE HIM AWAY. Uggggghhhh lmao
    January 12th, 2018 at 05:51am
  • eraserhead.

    eraserhead. (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    @ divine;
    No, dude, I actually had to call him on it. Like I brooded on it for a day and then went over there to bang and was like, “Hey, by the way, I need you to not do that right in front of my face.” That guy was the one who taught me how to speak up about shit I didn’t like.

    It’s like... I feel like they just don’t even know how it affects us. They have no idea if the toll those mind games have. That screws with your self-esteem and self-worth, and it can stay damaged for a long fucking time.
    January 12th, 2018 at 05:38am
  • divine;

    divine; (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    @ springer dinger.
    And that's so crazy to me!!! Like communication is key and I feel like just with the way masculinity is socialized, men feel the need to play mind games or that they can't be completely honest about their intentions. Like, yeah, we're casual but give me the respect to at least not flirt in front of me. Or say that you're into it/other people or doing it for the reaction. I'm sorry, that's so grimy lol.
    January 12th, 2018 at 05:07am
  • eraserhead.

    eraserhead. (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    I know I experienced something like that firsthand. I was screwing around with a guy I worked with and we both agreed that it was casual, but I was pretty young and impressionable and enamored for one reason or another. He was respectful for the most part, but I would see him at work trying to pick up a lot of the girls there and even flirt with other coworkers. Even though we knew we wouldn’t go anywhere, it was super weird and hurtful to actually see it happening right in front of me. Like my bomb-ass sex wasn’t enough.

    It makes sense cause a lot of times part of your dating pool is, like, your work, but it was definitely strange to be *with* someone and watch as they try to find someone better.

    My actual ex boyfriend was just kind of blatantly disrespectful in front of my face and would flirt with other girls just to like see if they would want him and then call me crazy when I would get mad about it. That was pretty damaging, too.
    January 12th, 2018 at 04:38am