Alot of people feel like you do. You wouldn't believe how many.
March 18th, 2008 at 07:58pm
I know exactly how you feel. I've gone through every feeling you explained, except mine were in a different order, when I was younger I was constantly scared and then not too long ago I had the same problem with friends; people in general. I have always been too weak to live without another human beings help, but every time someone left me. It just made me hate myself more, I believe it was my fault; my insecurities. I feel that I was an unlucky person to be chosen to be fucked up sometimes, but I get through it. All the pain makes me stronger. My best friend right now; he almost ran away from me because I used to tell him everything and believe he could help me, and he did for a long time. But it was too hard for him because he has enough problems of his own, I was being selfish burdening him with my troubles, but yet, he still wishes that I do so even after I almost lost him. He's back and I know he cares for me, but I also know that no other human being can handle my problems other than myself, so I keep what I tell him to a minimal, I express my feelings in my stories and my poetry and it makes good ones too. I am proud that I have been fucked up enough to make very good sad stories, I've been told that I'm best describing torture and sadness, well, I've expierenced it. So I see how good comes out of all of this, and I can be proud. Its not that no one wants to listen, its just that we're all only made to help each other, not smother each other in our problems. Try expressing your deepest feelings through stories and poetry, maybe photography, it makes it so real.
If you want to talk more, I'd love to talk to you ^^
For so long I thought I was alone in my feelings and my troubles.