July 22nd, 2008 at 09:29pm
What happens now is one of the hardest things you're going to go through at this point in your life or your entire life, maybe.
My heart breaks for you. I cried when I read the song...who sings it btw?... and it's only because I've been there that it strikes a chord with me, I've been where you are, only I was the one that you're speaking to only to come around full circle and be you if that makes any sense.
I've always thought that the whole "I love you but I'm not IN love with you" was cliched, but it's actually true...just really damaging to hear at the moment in time when things are being severed, but in reality it is something that the other person will look back on and realize was true. It is possible to love someone that you used to love heart and soul, the person that you breathed, that you lived with, slept with, ate with...all those things....and not be IN love with them.
I still love my ex husband, but I'm no longer IN love with him. To me, they're two entirely different things.
But back to the what happens now part...
First off, how do you know that changing things will make them worse? In actuality, they will make things worse in the beginning, but in the end will they be worse? And to your actual question about leaving and breaking not only their heart but yours in the process...there is NO way around that. None. It's not going to be possible if this is the way YOU feel. It takes two to make a relationship in all aspects, to make it work, to make it last and if you're feeling like this then your heart is in it but not at the same time. The song really says it all, actually.
One of the hardest things is realizing and facing that reality that what you used to have is slowly slipping away or has slipped away and you didn't realize or see it coming or blocked it out and didn't focus on it...that's also where I've been...it sucks. It hurts.
Maybe you should both take some time apart--do some thinking and see where things go. Set a time limit or don't set a time limit. Give yourself the time to analyze things and see where they could possibly head...look at both forks of the road, find yourself and figure out what makes you happy or unhappy and go from there. That's what I think. On one hand, you want it to be over, but on the other you still want to fight for it. You both should talk things over w/o the yelling and the screaming and the fighting even though it will be hard, and if it comes to that, walk away with a promise to speak about it when things are even again, when things are cooled down. Take a break from each other and see what happens. That's what I think.
And remember, if you're not happy, he won't be either no matter how hard you work, he has to too. And, I'm here for you, Kris! <3 A shoulder to cry or lean on, that's what I am.
I always knew there was a difference between being in love with and loving someone, I just never really understood it completely. To be honest, I just realized I'm past being in love with the guy I told you about. I love him.