To Take It All Back

Would actually not be that big of a mistake.
Ok, so I was listening to this song, right? It's the first song on the second Warped Tour CD from 2008 (yeah, I'll write that, but I'm too lazy to actually find the song name.) Anyways, this guy sings at first about a bunch of crap happening in his life, and it's in a really casual way. Well, he says "and if i had the chance for another try I wouldn't change a thing; It's made me of who I am inside. And if I could thank god that I am here and that I am alive. And everyday I wake, I tell myself another harmless lie: the whole wide world is mine." yeah, I like that song.

Anyways, back to the point, I was contemplating this song while in Algebra 1 (because honestly, I took that class last year and I really don't need it again, you know?) and I realized, I would change some stuff about my past.

Ok, so I would thank God that I'm here and everything of course, and I do tell myself good stuff in the morning to encourage me to actually get up, but there's a few things I would change completely just to make me a happier person.

For example, when I was in the 6th grade, I became a class A pathalogical liar. I mean, I did it all the time just for the Hell of it. I hated my life and myself, so I tried to make everyone love me. Consequently, I would believe my lies half the time, but I still didn't like myself.

Of course, I still have issues with lying, but that's still not the only thing I would take back from my past. I would take back when I came out to my mom in the car. And I would take back when I came out to my sister. And I would take back everything about telling my family I was gay (except my cousin. He doesn't seem to mind much. It wasn't all that shocking, haha.)

Then I would take back all of my previous relationships. I mean, I don't think I was ever ready for a relationship, so I can only think of all the potential hurt I caused, whether I really did or didn't hurt them.

The moral of my story is that even though we have regrets, we CAN'T take any of the shit back, so we have to deal with it, no matter how much it sucks. Not a good moral? Oh well, read someone elses motivating journal.

Still, I do like that song. Later.