Help Me Please

Anyone confused right now?
Cuz I sure as hell am.
Then again when am I not confused.
Exactly.
But yea...I'm confused now.
There is a multitude of events occuring in my life now.
Feel free to ignore me.
I'm merely ranting, venting, searching for help.
You decide.
I feel as though my mother could care less as to what I do, yet when I do things she 'disapproves of' I get yelled at.
I have clubs after school I attend and she yells at me, telling me I'm not into these things the clubs are for.
What the hell does she know what I like and don't like?
So for that, I am forced to walk a rather long distance from the high school to my house because she is too annoyed with me to pick me up.
Then I have homework where you don't even fully understand what your supposed to do.
I had a test today....they just told us about it yesterday and expected us to cram a study session in last night.
The thing that really gets me is my nature of relationships.
I have such a low self esteem about myself.
Every guy I have dated, I only went out with them because they like me or thought I was hot.
Although I did like them a bit, it was mostly that.
Last week I cried myself to sleep.
I've had to urge to cry during school because I feel immense emotions about something.
Sorry Mibbians but I can't tell you...I'm being personal...mostly.
Yea so...I don't know anymore.
I wanted to attempt suicide last week but restrained myself.
I'm always putting my friends first so I thought of them which is what stopped me.
If anyone wants to talk....message me.