I don't feel pretty... I don't feel loved.

I'm so sick. Sick of elitists. Sick of it all.

I know I shouldn't care whatsoever what other people think of me, but it still hurts. I just found out that the entire school, with the exception of 23 kids, has been making fun of me, talking about me behind my back and saying petty little things like: I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm too loud, My laugh is funny, My makeup is too wild etc. The list goes on. So what if I like to play with scene makeup and eyeliner? It's unique, just becuase it's something you have seen before, or it's different doesn't make it "ugly"

I'm new in this school. It's small. About 300 kids. Yeah. Country. I fucking hate it.

I've always been the loner. The outcast. No one ever wanted to associate with me because I think differently, I'm openminded, and I'm a writer. They are convinced because I have never been in a relationship before that I must be a lesbian. (and sometimes, I swear, I think that might be easier) But that's besides the point.

But back to the point of this school. I hurt my back tuesday night. I fell in the shower, on a bar of soap, and injured my spine. I pinched a nerve and bruised a vertebrae, therefore I had to wear a back brace for a few days to avoid serious pain. These assholes in school fucking pushed me to the floor and kicked me in the back. WHAT THE HELL?!! I was in so much gaddamn pain. Why would they do that to someone who was injured? WHY?! I'm fucking crying right now... I don't know if I can do this for much longer.

Oh and today, these kids tore my poetry journals out of my hands, read through them, tore up/out the pages, and then threw the books at me, calling me an emo and saying that I should die. I shouldn't care, but this abuse hurts... I've been through a lot of shit.

Oh God... I have to go. I can't keep typing.

Sorry.