I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

"It's kinda like, when you sit in a hot tub for a while, you know? Its fucking nice. And warm. And good. Then, you get out and someone pushes you into the pool. Its overwhelming. Its cold. Its unwelcome. Its overall not the best feeling in the world. But you get used to it. You adapt.

Hey, you know what thats kinda like? When I hang out with my friends that don't fail for a day, then come back to the shitty reality of my town. At first its abrupt, then you fall into the numbness of depression. But you know what, sometimes the numbness never comes. Sometimes everything just hurts."

Those were the words that tearfully spilled out of my mouth last night as I fell, sobbing into the arms of a good friend.

Out of sight, out of mind?
Hardly.

Cliché and all, but its like in New Moon when Bella can't be numb again. When she says his name, or hears it, or allows herself to think about Edward or whatever, she can't fall back in to the monotony.

So what am I expected to do? I don't get it.

I always have such high hopes for the future, but never any plans.
Never anything solid.

What is there to do?
I don't think I have too many options here.

Your teenage years are supposed to be the best.
Or so I've heard from just about everyone in the world.

So whats so great?
The lack of meaning here is disquieting.