im so tired

of being my own prisoner.
of not being good enough for myself.
of making myself so tired i can hardly stay awake.
of feeling like everything is too much.
of feeling so self conciece i cant think of anything else.
of hiding my problems.
of treating everything as if its second important.
of numbing myself so i dont feel anything.

but i cant stop

and i dont know how to.

i feel like im dead on he inside and waiting for my body to slowly fail too.

ok i havnt done that in like for ever.

its wierd writing all that