I just realized I'm a Loner with a Boner...(:

When it comes to school, that is; I just realized how much of a Loner I seem like.

Most of my class know me as the shy, quiet, kind of odd, swears a lot fat girl. How embarrassing. I rarely talk a lot to most of my classmates, and when I do, I always seem to swear a lot; they probably think I'm a freak or something. Kind of like in 9th grade. We were heading to class from break, and this guy I liked and two other kids were talking to me.; I have no idea why. Just randomly saying my name and annoying me. I'm just like "What the fuck? Leave me the fuck alone!" Or something. and they laughed. I don't they were laughing AT me, but just the fact that the fat and quiet girl swore is very amusing.

There's this dude, Ryan, and he loves to embarrass me. Last year or the year before, we were walking back to school from teh day care for community service, and he's like "Oh Mander! I want you on top of me!" So I'm like "You're fucking perverted!" He started making moaning sounds and said it again. Another time, when we were riding in the car to the thrift shop for community service once again, he kept saying sexual shit to me. He touched my leg and I'm like "Don't fucking touch me!" Sadly, i was stuck int he back of the small jeep Cherokee with two other guys. They laughed and he kept trying to embarrass me. I think they're just fooling around, but still. I should of reported him for sexual harassment! Oh yeahhhh, baby!

To me, when ever one of the kids in my grade talk to me, they talk as if I'm mentally challenged or 4 years old. Well, some people. It's more of a soft, friendly tone. I don't know.

I can't stand having them know me as the fat girl that doesn't really talk to many people and does bad when it comes to school work. I've been put in some "special" classes; mainly math because I am horrible at it. I can get horrible grades and not do my homework, and it's not because I am retarded or in cable of doing so.

I CAN'T FOCUS!

I have fucking ADD!

I can't focus in class, and when I get home, it's like....UGH!

I DO NOT get horrible grades because I am stupid. I am actually quite smart; I just don't try hard enough. It's like I'm afraid to do my best because people will be so shocked. It's like a 3 month old baby talking! OH MY GOD! SO AMAZING!

Hmmm.....

I can't stand school.

My school is horrible. It's suppose to be one of the best schools in New Hampshire, yet it sucks more than anything. Trust me; IT IS NOT the best school in NH. No where near.

I remeber in 9th or 19th grade; I had a meeting at school, discussing me and all that shit. They said I needed to see the school psychologist both semesters of that year. I argued, and we made an agreement. if i went to all my appoints with Mrs. Powell, on time, and cooperated, I didn't need to go 2nd semester. So I was a good girl, went and talked, and felt relieved when second semester came by!

Lo and behold, second semester was even worse.

They said I had to go; even though I did what I was fucking suppose to, they made me go. Sort of. I said "Are you guys retarded? You fucking lied to me! I DID WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO, WE MADE AN AGREEMENT! WE NEGOTIATED! They basically denied that and said I had to go. Period. So then one beautiful day came. I finally stood up for myself.

I was in study skills (study hall) doing my work; I had a math test I needed to finish that day or else I'd get a failing grade. I sat quietly working on it, and actually concentrating; Mr. Fredie was like "Amanda, you have an appointment with Mrs. Powell! Please put your work away and go! You're late!" I sat there, amazed. "I'm not going. You guys said if I went next semester with no problem, plus to my therapist I have outside of school, I didn't have to go this semester. I am not going." I gave him a sarcastic smile, and went back to my work.

"Amanda, you have to go now!"

"I am not going! There's no point. We sit there, talk about random shit, and I leave. i'm trying to finish my fucking test that's due today! I love how you guys bitch at me to focus and do my work, but when I am, you bitch at me to put it away and do something pointless. Mm hm"

Mrs. Bartlett came out of the back office and said I had to go or else I had to go to the principals office.

"I'm not going! It's so fucking useless; it does nothing for me. I WANT TO DO MY WoRK!"

They said if I didn't go see the principal or Mrs. Powell, I'd get conduct points, they'd get the resource officer, or I'd possibly have to be physically removed from the room.

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room to Mr. Nelsons office.

Mrs. Bartlett came in,a nd we stood there and talked.

"Amanda, it says in your plan you have to go see the school Psychologist".

"It does, but you guys said at the meeting that I didn't have to this semester if I went the first one."

he explained I had to or I'd get conduct points; I went. <_< When I got there, Mrs. Powell said I didn't have to stay. She's very nice, to me at least. I don't hate her; i actually like her a lot. i just hate seeing her for appointments. Ange saw her, and apparently she made up false accusations against her.

9th grade: The great iPod crisis!

Ange was accused of stealing another girls iPod. it was found in her back pack, but she did not do it. Morgan, a girl that seemed coo, put it in her backpack to get her in trouble. There was a big riot going on. People saw Morgan do it. Mrs. Powell said she had to confess to stealing it, even though she knew Ange didn't. Morgan admitted it, at some point.

I really hate my school.

I get in trouble for doing my work and following an agreement.

First semester, no problems, on time, every day that I had to go (I forget the days <_<)

I did what I said I'd do; they're the ones that lied and broke the agreement.

I hate High school.

I thought I'd get more freedom and respect from the Teachers, but I was wrong. It's ok if they treat me like a normal functioning human being, but when I get treated like I am 4 years old, that's where i draw the line.

I am not enrolled there at the moment. i am going to a charter school in a few months; it's basically like a private school with a college like atmosphere. In a way.

There's basically 2-3 hours of work on the computer. Everything. You sit at a computer and do what ever. At some point, you can choose classes.

Nursing Programs, Culinary, Early child hood development, auto-mechanics, computer programming, random stuff/. Stuff that can prepare you for college. I plan on taking a Nursing and the childhood development one. xD

I'm done now. I am very upset at the moment.