Journal entry 2

It says my journal has to be something worthwhile...so here i go...mibba, you're gonna regret making me have to "put effort" into this!

So, today i went bowling and killed my foot on the dance mat at the arcade.

And yesterday i got new glasses which are VERY cool.

So, my friend properly introduced me into Hadouken! who i had heard ages ago, but only one song.
Today I've been listening to crank it up and get smashed gate crash at full volume!
Woo!

Plus, today i finally downloaded Only Hope by Mandy Moore, and In this City by Iglu&Hartly.
Oh, and Enter Sandman by Metallica.

I feel a bit sad today actually.
I don't know why. I just keep feeling like i really want to burst into tears.

Ive been looking through my computer at all the things i have written in my past and have found lots of stories, poems, songs and scripts that i made up when i was younger.
It's really strange, looking back i was a really weird f*cked up kid.

Sometimes i feel as if, even my best friends hate me. Its a strange feeling. So lonely. And then i cant imagine even trying to carry on living without them. then i feel a strange urge to go to sleep and never wake up.

And THEN someone pops up on my msn and says something really nice or asks me how i am. Then i feel all better again.

So this world is a bit weird in the way it works sometimes.

I really wish to be a real vampire. i think im about as vampiric as a human can get, but to be a REAL one...i'd give so much for!

I can't wait for the day when i can truly smile again.
I remember one time i hadn't smiled for so long that i actually forgot how to smile. It took me weeks to practice and finally get it right enough that people believed it. Even now im not sure if i am smiling right. But all i know is that im not smiling truly.

I like this journal thing. i dont have the patience to write one by hand but it is a good way for me to vent out all of these bad feelings and share all of my good ones.

So to anyone who is reading this, i will try to do one at least once a week. sometimes they will be mega boring but sometimes i think they might be quite good! (so subscribe if you want!)

So, Bekki is checking out of this entry...

Later people! x