Well, I just got back from my neighbors house. I know this is probably going to sound totally 'scripted', but I went to look at the caller id and I saw that one of my ex-boyfriends had called.
Last year I was a pretty big screw- up, I could have done a lot better and I chose not to. I hung out with people that only thought about negative things, and I chose to fail just because it helped me ' fit in better'. I chose to make up lies about myself to try and fit in with my 'friends'.
My parents started to get really really irritated, and they found a way to make me notice I didn't like what was going on. They took everything from me. The phone, my computer, I couldn't do anything but my chores, school, and eat. I didnt even have tv.
This really made me realize I didnt like the path that I was on. I had a boyfriend, Kenneth. (the guy that was on the caller id) and he was a screw up. He didnt care what his parents thought about him, he chose to screw up, and decided he was basically just going to drop out. This was the guy I went for, and I felt cool to have him as my boyfriend.
Over summer... the first summer that I hadnt been grounded. I went to summer school because I had failing grades and a bad attitude.I worked my ass off because I was sick of failing. I got a butt load of credits but I still had to go to a credit make up program. I got my act together over summer with help from my new- found best friend Jeannie Mangum. She is one of the greatest friends anyone could ask for and Im glad I have her there... but back to my original point.
When I got home, and I saw his number on the caller id I felt my stomachs go in knots and I felt light- headed. I felt like I had never had closure to that situation, so I called him back. (this is today) I realized when we were talking it didnt feel right and I hung up.
When i was at the dinner table with my parents, they could tell that something was wrong. We had a long discussion about how I have changed for the better, and Im still in the process of turning things around. Its not a one day process thats for sure.
I know other kids may say this on a day to day basis that they have great parents, but mine truly are the best and Im a very lucky kid to have their love. Im glad their always there for me and that means alot. :)
Im glad that Im turning things around, because I knew that if i continued on the path i was on, i could have never felt good about myself and i wouldnt have a good relationship with my family like the one i have these days.
Im finally starting to find myself....
I love you mom and dad.
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