Is it worth it?

You expect me to be normal
after all the years of teasing?
the years of unnecessary bullying?
every time you called me ugly
it was burned into my persona
every time you said I has no friends
it was hammered into my soul
I always knew you where wong
but in the back of my mind
I always wondered, what if they’re right?
what if I’m a ‘pity friend’
What if people say I’m decent looking
just to make me feel okay?
Now I’m paranoid, I hear my name
in hushed whispers, even though it wasn’t said
I see people giggling in my direction
and think there laughing at me,
only to find that they were laughing
at someone else, Sometimes I think
Is this what I give to want to be different?
and if so, is it worth it?

PS i dont know if this is a poem or not, but it didn't sound poetic, maybe it was just my mild OCD that made me structure it the was it is IDK, but read it for its content not its structure

MIA<3