I've always thought that I could deal with rejection and it isn't a big deal. But now it's completely obvious to me that it's not like that at all.
I've dealt with rejection before and it wasn't fun. But it also wasn't nearly as heartbreaking as everyone likes to say.
So here's what went down: Friday a guy that I've been getting to know asked me to hang out. He's really nice and a total gentlemen and so sweet! Well we went to his house and I met his Mom and her two friends; they were hilarious and so nice. Then we went upstairs to his hang out room and we talked and listened to music and he kissed me:] Two of his friends came over later. Well he told me "I like you" and that was really exciting and then he took me home and walked me to my door.
The problem?
Well one, he's one of my ex's friends, not a close friend though.
Two, I haven't had a chance to talk to him that much since Friday. I don't have my cell and won't get it back until December so we can't just text or whatever. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal and maybe I'm being paranoid but I'm so worried that he isn't going to talk to me anymore. A guy did that last year. We talked and then we went to the movies and after that he didn't talk to me for two months and the only reason I even got an apology was because his brother made him. Another boy did that to me this summer too, except we still talk but he started blowing me off.
I'm so scared that' going to happen again:[
Three, I'm scared of a relationship now too. I didn't think that my last relationship had scared me or anything but it affects me way more than I even thought. It's the one I wrote about in my letter for Rise Above This.
I'm so worried about not having to go through that whole mess again that I'm searching for things to be wrong with this guy.
I wish I could see the future. Just for this one thing. I really want to know if he's going to ignore me, talk to me, or if we're going to like go further and end up dating.
I really like him.
I hate this risk.
I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow morning.
As far as i am concerned, what’s life without risk? Don’t be so scared.
