Why Is Everything So Hard?

Why is everything so hard? Even keeping a conversation is hard now. I miss how things used to be. I was safe then, I didn’t have to worry about my health or my friends health or anything. I was just me. And now everything is thrust upon me at once. And I don’t know how to deal with it. Is this what high school is really about? Pushing you until you break? Am I supposed to be some strong selfless person? Cause I don’t want to be strong. I want to just break down and cry when I want to. I don’t want to deal with this. I just want everything to go away and have things be perfect. But I’m not living a fairy tail, and this definitely isn’t a Disney movie like High School Musical where “We’re All In This Together” and nothing can stop us or whatever. Shit happens. Every day, shit happens. And normally there’s nothing we can do about it. I mean I have a best friend who didn’t even look at me twice when I was really sick. Does he care about me? Do I even matter? How the hell am I supposed to know? Is all this talk about how he cares about me coming out of his ass? I feel like if I didn’t care as much things would be easier. But I HAVE to care. Because that’s just who I am. There’s no easy solution for any of my problems. I wish there were an easy back door that says ok walk through here and BAM you and everyone else is going to be ok. Life isn’t that easy though.